Feels again like I've been here
before, but now...no rain. Only
doubts...
that the sky is gone,
And the moon is in her eyes.
A black piece of something looks at me.
As if I've hurt myself,
or squeezed to tight.
Or lived tomorrow...
Dinner was great,
but I almost think you don't care.
Who forced you to say that?
and did I hear you wrong?
I said it wrong,
and I lied,
and I listened,
with all the passion I spoke for.
And I finally noticed something wrong,
and nothing right.
but a piece of licorice, that was your
heart you gave me.
-------------------------------
I'm hoping to feel a chill tomorrow.
I want to be alive.
Like getting something you want,
for the very first time,
and that feeling.
But in the midst of what's on the floor
and the bed and the walls,
there's a void
contradicting the mess,
saying...shouting
all the things that I need,
and whispering louder
that I'll never get them.
---------------------------------
It's gone again.
Reach for the buildings, reaching for the sky
Reach for your soul, reaching for the dirt.
Out of the things that matter
Milk is all gone,
like your drug.
The stupor is the one thing you don't want.
The lust overtakes all.
To leave you with loneliness,
and a smile.
-----------------------------------------
The black design on the piece of paper,
doesn't look right anymore.
You kept adding to it,
until there was no feeling.
Only an overlap of what's not there.
Left you with what you thought you wanted.
The blur in the lines.
The cake on the floor.
Crumbling...
Crushed...
Left with a shape of things past.
And a future surrounded by a something worse than itself.
-------------------------------
You're hanging from the tree again.
Please don't be dead this time,
Everything fell but you.
And you don't look like beauty anymore.
Sing the elephant song...
and pray.
For the sky cries Mary.
and the wind breaks even.
But what of your expense?
Did you pay with your death?
Would I have been cheaper?
Or do you even care,
there we're both alone now? ----------------------------------
Is it my fault I think you're perfect
...or yours Is it your fault I bought you
flowers
...or mine Is it your fault you aren't trying
...or mine Is it my fault I'm alone now
...or yours ----------------------------------
Blame is ours I blame me
you blame nothing there is no
blame blame is ours |
|
Want you in my arms forever,
never have to leave
I just wanna be close enough to feel
you,
Let me smell your hair,
and stay a while...forever.
--------------------------------
You're sorry for all that you've done
and been done to you.
in your eyes you see justice.
You see what you think is wrong.
and you see what he said,
and you hear the words you made up.
to make someone else happy.
Like a dead man,
reaching for death,
and happy.
cuz he got served
a little piece of what you deserved.
and nothing has happened
but you're a little better.
cuz you think what happened was good.
it's your head that needs.
That's the wrong.
And you can't help it.
so it still goes.
And someday it will stop.
when the little man finally sees what's wrong.
and gives you justice.
The death he deserves.
------------------------------
Another person in front of me
bleeding....slowly
don't bleed on me
A wave swallowing my friend.
Just cuz I'm sitting here'
I should probably care.
Dinner table, choking.
a stranger
Strange table.
It was supposed to be me again.
but it's not gonna happen.
I'm never gonna win.
------------------------------
Sunshine and thoughts.
Rain and rewards.
Leaves that fall,
wishing to die again,
and the dirt that buries me.
Holding me still,
Holding my breath,
as you take another cigarette,
and spout your words,
full of sympathy and regret,
fear and disgust.
Looking longingly at the sick.
For they have knowledge.
The pain, the life that gives you life,
The birth that gives you death,
and the sick place that longs for pain.
----------------------------
Friend of my only friend,
Got lost on the way to the end.
No one I cared to know,
Can't a happy heart mend?
Once to young to notice.
Now I'm halfway there.
towards the thing that matters
there's just my own despair.
No more rewards to come
All to see is fear.
Trade it all for half a step behind.
but nowhere to go from here.
It's the road I had to build.
when I lived through this.
Just grab ahold of another dead one.
And pray you get a final kiss.
----------------------------------
I filled 99 pages
and asked you to do one
You opened it and said
we're done.
turn the page
look around a bit
that ones nice
it don't mean shit
turn the page
...and look away
turn the page
...and look away
turn the page
and walk away...
|
|
A glass jar, filled with smells.
and things that got lost.
A glass jar on a shelf,
sitting unused,
a pathetic existence spent
waiting for the house to fall.
A piece of glass
thrown, broken, gone.
without anything
but a straight edge
a transparent soul
and a reason to cry.
-------------------------
All I ever wanted to give you
Is finally dead,
the rain isn't so bad
when you're wearing that shade of red.
You were beautiful once
before I ever knew you
the promises you broke
made me feel good, like new.
But today there is no parade
I'm the only one with happy
not even the whores are working
the red is all I see.
----------------------
Went downtown.
All I wanted was some fruit in my hand.
A little piece of ripeness.
a sweet taste.
To take your place,
now that you're old.
Let me feel some juice dripping off my
face.
Let me feel sickness in my hand.
Running off my arm.
running quickly towards the earth,
full of grief and impatience,
leaving nothing but a sweet taste,
a ripe memory that I stole before the harvest,
and a longing for more.
------------------------------
Show me some fear.
Talk about it when you're old
Age with dignity
and die with joy.
You're all wrong.
Look at the ball.
Look til it's gone down.
And then talk about it.
Tell me where it went.
And why you have no shoes
but an array of feelings.
Talk about justice and warmth.
I don't need to hear you again.
I never did.
-----------------------
running in the empty street.
Stare at the empty buildings.
Soulless people.
It's my fantasy, to be alone for once,
Instead of always.
To be without love now,
Instead of with you forever.
--------------------------
Take me to the woods,
Where the beaver lives.
Stick my
head in the ground,
I
become a tree. Soon the beaver will find me,
and cut off my head.
Hell take my limbs,
and drag them away from me. Hell take my limbs,
and use them to build his house.
And damn this
river,
Dam me.
------------------------------
The moonlight feels my
reflection,
but it cant see me...
it cant see my expression,
My contempt of the moon,
it cant hate itself...
I wont let it.
the sun wont let it.
and does the moon realize anything?
can it have a thought?
can it feel?
can it wonder
will I get up tomorrow?
for the moon has no morning,
and the sky has no end,
and time has no meaning,
until tomorrow.
and then...
time comes
again
only to remind me
that it'll be gone soon.
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