So the plan Friday is that Matt and I meet outside Hauptbahnhof at a bit after 16:00… Done…no problems up to this point…I had my second kase und schinken croissant of the day whilst waiting for matt near that piece of crap O’Reilleys (we have a vow!!!).

catch the bus to Hahn…I thought it was like a 45 minute ride…it’s an hour and 45….good thing I’m an informed sort of guy…I read the paper while matt tries to sleep…we occasionally talk in a whisper while listening to Belinda Carlisle and whitesnake come over the bus speakers…

Then we arrive at Hahn…My first time there and the impression is that it’s sort of like little league airport…it’s apparently also run by Fraport, so they must use it as some kind of training ground for the real airport…

plane is delayed. My Hahn/Ryanair experience is going from no opinion to negative opinion…Damn you Ryanair…

Get on the plane about an hour later than planned…Meet Dennis the former bouncer who was sitting next to Matt…offered us a car ride back home on Sunday night…says he’s on the same plane back that day and he has a car…sweet!!!!

Plane lands and I somehow ended up as the very last one in Passport control…Here’s how my passport experience has been for about the last 3 months…

Give person passport…
watch as passport person opens first page…
watch passport control person raise eyebrows
watch passport control person look at me suspiciously…

look away and wait (variations on this include passport control giggling or showing me my own photo in my own passport and asking if this is me….Yeah…).
Wait as passport control person looks through every page in my passport and eventually getting to my DE work permit photos and repeating the same confused expressions…
passport control person raises eyebrows
passport control person looks at me suspiciously…

Wait and look away as passport control person moves head from my passport to me about 7 times…
stand uncomfortably and check phone or look around to see if there’s a big line behind me…
wait while passport person types stuff into their computer… apparently nothing has ever come up because this is usually the last step…
I eventually get through the gate (I was indeed the last person)…

matt is waiting and looks bored and/or sympathetic…not quite sure…life must be easy when you have 2 passports eh? he’s obviously read the instruction on how to get to the hostel about 5 times and has some kind of plan I think… it must be somewhere around midnight at this point…

The next 15 minutes are chaos as matt repeatedly says “I hate this country”…we couldn’t get change for the bus (I was even offering to pay people to allow them the privilege of making change for us, but they refused). We finally get change by pretending to be deutsch and getting change from the car park man. Since we don’t know what the currency in Slovakia is we just decide to call them “thingys”. We thought we had missed the last bus (attempting to chase down the wrong bus)…but luckily the actual bus arrived shortly after we had given up hope… We did however miss out connection to the last tram of the night and whilst amusing ourselves with a camera and a Bobby McFerrin poster a taxi happened by and saw us (***stupid tourists with camera) and we got a ride to the hostel (everyone commenting on me going to Bratislava…”Have you seen hostel?”)

on checking in girl at hotel counter Looks at my passport, giggles and says…is this you? yeah thanks!

it’s probably about 12:30 now and since the pizza shop closed between the time we checked in and the time we went out looking for food we have to wander to search for a pub…The kitchen at the nearest pub is closed so we decide to choose between McDonalds, KFC, McKabob and Mr. Kabob…it’s Mr Kabob…

I guess there’s no copyright laws in Slovakia….

…best 3€ I ever spent…hang out in front of Mr Kabob and complain about how cold it is…it’s really hard to blow your nose when you are holding a kabob wrap and fries and a drink…not sure how I managed…

have a beer at pub across the street…it’s only 3€ for two beers…things are looking up…

Go back to hostel and Matt crashes…I check internet in Hostel common room….there’s some movie on and about 6 other people in the room….they speak some sort of foreign language to each other, but at key times in the movie I hear them (the other people in the room) say “What the fuck” and “fuck off”…ah the universal english language… I still am trying to figure out what the movie was…Jude Law was in it and I’m not sure if I’ve seen it or not…

go to bed at 2am….sleep poorly due blowing nose and coughing every hour or so… Wake up at about 7am… wait for Matt to wake up and hit the road about 8:30….

one quick stop in the internet room at the hostel and matt updates his facebook to note:
Matt: is ready to take on these Slovakians! Is Bratislava ready for Squires??? 🙂

being as I often have no plan when I travel I somehow managed to not think about packing an actual coat…so for 2 straight days I wear the same clothes, which is a t-shirt, a long t shirt underneath and a zipped up hoody sweatshirt… it’s bloody cold but I don’t think too much of it (yet!)…the sky is blue and the wind is blowing…

matt wants to go shopping…we walk…get coffee…notice the weather is changing a bit…think nothing of it…yet complain about how cold I am…

snow starts falling and I realize I’m still cold and it’s snowing…

walk a bit…shop a bit…have lunch at bratislava pub (what a name for a pub). Have a traditional goulash…I would never have ordered this in real life, but since I was being multicultural I had to try it…and it was delicious…and cheap…. Note that they have a student lunch for only 39 “thingys”…that is the equivalent of 1 euro for soup and bread…start thinking about how cheaply I could live there…if I had 2000 Euros could I live here for a year??? hmmmm

finish and take a cab to the train station…all taxi driver seems to want to talk about is how expensive frankfurt is and prostitution…Luckily Matt was up front so he had to talk to him.

catch train to Wien. Arrive at Wien…go to hostel…find pub for Arsenal v. ManU…spend the evening laughing at strange people and talking to locals…seems that most of the people in this particular pub were not from Wien.

Go to some aussie pub where matt makes me cry like a little girl…just a typical holiday for me… 😉 It was basically like the scene in Family guy

Brian Griffin: Stewie?
Stewie Griffin: Yeah?
Brian Griffin: It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: I know.
Brian Griffin: It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: [annoyed tone] I know.
Brian Griffin: No, Stewie, Stewie. It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: Don’t do this to me, man. Not you, man.
Brian Griffin: It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: Screw you. Cut it out, man!
Brian Griffin: It’s not your fault.
Stewie Griffin: [cries] Why is it so hard? I didn’t know it was going to be so hard. [cries]

OK it was nothing like that, but it’s still a funny scene…I think the above is a conversation a couple of middle aged unemotional men might have…maybe Brian and stewie were in ‘nam together. Funny how much occasional insight shows up when a dog and baby have a conversation together…

bed at 2am, awak-ish at 7:30 am…complain about the cold and start hacking up my lungs as soon as we step outside…

back to Bratislava…act all touristy and take more photos…see the castle and play with statues…I actually ate a salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, goat cheese and green peppers…no dressing…it was great! I felt all healthy and stuff 😉

dink around and decide to spend our last two hours at a single pub for dinner and some football…magically we found a cool place where the large bratislavan Neve Campbell was working…

she was a laugh…

go to airport…Matt goes to Toilet…

I had to look at this for half an hour while I’m waiting…

I have nothing to think about but the usual thoughts that wander into my head…-

Why did Jeff Buckley die so young?

Random song lyrics(“if the world ends
i hope you’re here with me
i think we could laugh just enough
to not die in pain
if the world ends
it won’t finish you
you’re not the type they can capture
you flit like a fly catcher ” – Guillemots),

and…
Why do people sing “Otherside” for Karaoke…(I hate when people sing songs without actually listening to the lyrics…it’s not a happy song, but people sing happily cuz it’s catchy…they miss the point – and I don’t go to Karaoke). Try to figure out why that offends and annoys me, but other things that are supposed to offend people don’t offend me…I’m always focused or thinking about on the “wrong” things.

Receive a text from Matt that breaks my thought process…It started out like this “I can’t stop pooing”…It went on, but I’m just not going to go into details in case matt’s mom reads this 😉

Go through security and observe many large women with belts as I’m standing in line…I’ve never noticed this phenomenon before, but really your pants are not in any danger of falling down and the belt can’t possibly be for fashion because you’re wearing 3 baggy layers…maybe next time just skip the belt…

see Dennis as we get on the plane…he graciously gave us a ride to Frankfurt…good man!!! Get home almost 2…set alarm for 8 yet promptly wake up at 6:47…I just can’t sleep in no matter how tired I am….

I need soup or something…

my ears are throbbing as I write this…what does pneumonia feel like?

Random out of context quote from me: Don’t ever confuse the swinns and the fedes…

Rest of the pics here when I get them up…

Matt…don’t forget about your life under the sea…I didn’t want to write it first and ruin it for you… 😉