this might be me..
24,12,07Watched Family Guy and had Joey's pizza...best pizza and best TV I can get in DE. best xmas eve ever??? time will tell...
Haaäääääägen Dazs...
It is snowing little ice chips.
I think I dreamed of a crepe with gnutella in it...dammit now I'm hungry....do'h!
Spent a bit of time last night with all the important people left in frankfurt....
Random Quotes:
,,Midgets are conniving''
,,I reckon midgets innards are just like their head...normal size...''
There was also a rousing discussion about midget tampons....yeah...which reminds of a scene from Family Guy...
it involved a sperm bank and jody fosters fist....ok nevermind...smile and nod...smile and nod...
which also reminds me of another scene from family guy...set up was something like...this is even worse than a conversation between an old guy and a midget...
Old Guy looks at midget
Midget: ,,What're you looking at?''
Old guy: ,,Well...where's the rest of ya?''
23,12,07
the market is gone...I think I'm probably the last one left in the building again...Last year for 3 straight days the elevator didn't move except for me. I think I was the only one here...
20,12,07
I'm
glad to see we're not accepting people with special needs into the
family...oh wait...that's 2,0
Luca
has the same expression in both pics...he must be thinking of his
girlfriend...and is that other guy in the background a cop or what?
Nice job 2,0 for inventing facebook politics and then having to cancel your account! Enjoy the states jerk!
That jerk once said he hates americans, but likes what the US stands for...I don't even know what that means...ask 12 people get 13 answers...
I might be going to Norway and Italy for business first half of next year...should be fun eh?
4th NAD in a row...
When web 2,0 finally rescues us from the hours per week that we spend on ,,research'' (finding out about what movies, TV shows, books, art, entertainment, tabloids, papers, etc we feel the need to be told about) will we spend more time thinking or less?
and below is just cuz...I found it online so it must be true right?
The pronunciation of an R at the end of words like "idea" as well as in the middle of expressions like "I saw it" (Australian sounds like "I sawr it") is, ironically, usually the result of the LOSS of r in certain situations.
It happened something like this:
1) Many British dialects, including the "Received Pronunciation", stopped pronouncing many r's, beginning in the 18th century (though seeds of r-loss may go back several centuries). These are called "non-rhotic" (non-r-pronouncing) dialects (as opposed to "rhotic" dialects).
Note that this happened AFTER the founding of the American colonies in the 17th century, which is why most American dialects did not experience this change (except for those, esp.in parts of New England, who maintained closer contacts with Britain and imitated some of the British changes).
2) Now in these non-rhotic dialects, the /r/ is usually lost ONLY at the very end of a phrase, or when it appears before a consonant. But when the sound is followed immediately be a vowel it IS pronounced. In other words, a Bostonian might say "The cah just pulled out", but "the car is in the street." This r -- which is maintained because it helps one move from one vowel to the others is called a "linking r"
3) By analogy or 'rule extension,, in other situations where one is transitioning from one vowel to another -- as in "I saw it" or "the idea is a good one"-- many of these non-rhotic dialects began to insert r's in the pronunciation that were not there to begin with. This non-original or "intrusive r" is frowned upon in Received Pronuciation, but it still happens.
4) Some dialects carried this further and pronounced the intrusive r in other contexts, so that some words with no final r came ALWAYS to be pronounced with one. "Idear" and "drawring" in various British accents, Australian, etc., are some of the best-known examples.
Now, not all dialects that lose the /r/ have the other changes, and not all who say "idear" speak non-rhotic dialects, but the two most often appear together, by way of the process outlined above.
18,12,07
I saw pics today of a work function where people were allowed to bring their kids...(I wasn't there). There were apparently jugglers and a small circus...whoever was taking the pictures thought the reaction of the kids was better than the actual show...
I was going to attempt to make a comment about losing that ability to be amazed, but I know it's all been said...you really can't go back can you?
and from Mel who is apparently the only person who really reads this page(with a correction of the spelling of the word the because you spelled it wrong...the...:
Hey Squires
So pleased to see I rate a mention once again on your blog :P I was explaining the story my best friend from home and she said "of course midgets are funny! that is why they are in the circus" - made me laugh all over again! :) From now on you could insult anyone and as long as it has the word midget in it I will find it funny (pathetic I know)...
15,12,07 part 2
out of context quote:
me: we'll be like 10 Al Gores...your beard...my glue stick and my herpes...
I'm sure it's even weird in of context, but to be honest I can't remember what the context was...I'm sure I was making a point...I often do...It's just my nature ;)
why is europe scared to stand up to the states...the Europe has a larger economy and more people yet they act like babies whilst deferring to the states...
why does a mac with a 17 inch screen cost 3 times more than a wintel machine with the same screen size?
I saw two midgets in wheelchairs last night...Might have been the highlight of my day... I especially like how Mel was trying to not laugh because I was making fun of people in wheelchairs again...but as soon as she heard the word midget it was immediately funny.
15,12,07
the mass exodus of foreigners going home has started...at least this
year there will be no repeat of lucky...
it's bloody cold outside!
14,12,07
Spent today listening to Nick Cave...Haven't heard
15 feet of pure white snow for a while (actually I think I only
heard it once)...still need to know how many meters that is... Why
are they using feet in Australia....Hurry up and change to the
metric system please...
So the difference between muslims and christians is that Muslims actually follow their "Holy Book", whereas Christians seem to ignore the parts about women keeping their heads covered, not having short hair, R2D2, not speaking in church, being submissive to their husbands etc. some muslims actually still follow those rules...Boba Fett...where? I have to at least respect them for that if nothing else...personally I am only in favor of excessively covering women up if they're chewbacca ugly.... so now that I've just defended muslims and called christians hypocrites (except for the Amish) here's a little something to bring all my muslim readers down a bit...
maybe I'll get a jihad on my ass....how cool would that be...me
and salmand rushdie...
I think I just spelled his name wrong...so from now on I'm going to
just call him salmon rush-D.
I mean to type yoda...I know the difference between yoda and oder...
my english gets worse the longer I stay here...which is funny cuz my deutsch is also getting worse the longer I stay here...
i was accused of speaking italian english today...because of this
sentence I put in an email:
I think I crash early tonight.
Ok on closer inspection I guess it's a little rough, but I can blame all the new words in my head right? Orgasmus...Ostess....
the english degradation thing is apparently not just me...
other non German's say it happens to them too...funny thing that....People at the office ask me to proof english mails and letters for them and I usually have to make changes several times because I'm a bit out of practice or something...I used to be such a cunning linguist.
13,12,07
Two gallants was GREAT last night!!!! I think it pretty much had to
be the best show I saw all year. not my most anticipated show, but
incredible! Mouseonturm was a decent venue. Kind of an old crowd
though...lots of baldness and gray hair...that was weird...also a
lot of 20/30 something nerds...Ponytails, large bellies et.al.
the opening band was from
I also saw a kid with airwalks, baggy jeans and
flannel...dude...1989 was cool!!!! were you even alive then???
There was one guy dancing so bad that I was actually mocking
him...and if I'm making fun of someone's dancing technique....WOW!!!
Now that I've mastered talking about the weather in Deutsch (Das
wetter ist schön! oda Das wetter ist schlecht!) I'm just going to
move on to politics...can someone please teach me to ask something
like "what do you think of the legitimacy of the state of
Alternative saying to learn would be something along the lines
of..."The world obviously can't handle a Western standard of living
so as India and China get richer the west needs to get poorer...I
think it's dependant on the United states to start bombing other
rich countries (there's only ever been one country to use a Nuclear
weapon during war right?) for the good of humanity..."
got my state of Oregon refund check today...thank you gordon smith...the gift that keeps on giving...(I believe it was Gordo that brought back the kicker checks instead of having a credit on thenex t years return). On a related note...has anyone ever tried to cash a check in DE? I've never seen anyone use a check here...will they let me deposit it? actually I've never seen a deposit slip here either....
I have a package at Deutsch Post...I hope this is from me mum :)
12,12,07
is realism a character flaw?
two gallants tonight!!! Mouseonturm....
11,12,07
I just had my first Burger King kids meal in months (had to be
August)...what the hell is golden palace?
I'm angry cuz she gave me ketchup without asking if I wanted mayo or
ketchup...of course I want mayo...
I got an enterprise car rental spam in spanish today...what's that about?
what's with peoples short attention spans...will
we look back in 20 years and see Family guy as some kind of catalyst
for movies that just show a series of ,,remember that time that we
rented a car in Spain and...?''
is noone capable of watching movies, TV, theatre with a story? How
long can relationships, series, subscriptions, general interest last
when people snap judge within 10 seconds and never have the need to
reconsider their initial opinion (no need to reconsider when the
next thing is bound to come along before my drink is finished)?
I had grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup last weekend............................. nothing to add.....it's probably my all time favourite sit inside when it's raining and feel better food....:)
I just got a call from the Portland office in the states....does this mean I should have a blackberry...I just had to call the states for almost 5 minutes on my own dime...am I going to get that money back...NO!!! doesn't matter...I did get to share the joy of gluhwein with a colleague that's married to a former Hessish (ess)...it was good....the legend of gluhwein had grown with him because in his story it apparently had herbs and orange spices added...I said no....it's just heated red wine ;)
10,12,07
no entry for well over a year...this is even worse than that
time....
OK so spent another weekend in France...it rained...and rained...Looking at the muddy river in bordeaux really made me think of the Coos Bay waterfront. miss it from time to time....
the food in France
is really quite amazing...expensive, but I think really really
good....
this also goes for pastries...Woe be to those (can one say that ;)
who hit the Saturday/Sunday markets for pastries....Good lord that
raspberry tart thing was bloody amazing!!!! Even after sitting for
about 24 hours unrefrigerated...
I miss the sweet sweet sound of the chicken dance....The chicken was
liberated from the Cambridge or Oxford, or Chelsea Arms, or
Buckingham Palace or the fox n Hound or whatever the name of that
English pub was...
05,12,07
When one is writing a business email one should not confuse illicit
and elicit...
Necropolis apparently has 4 plurals in English
Necropolises, Necropoles, Necropoleis or Necropoli...Thanks Mel for
the language lesson :)
bloody aussies...
why has my page count gone way up the week I have nothing to say?
01,12,07
watching old people get on the escalator must be similar to watching
a dog try to get on the escalator...here's how it goes
3 Meters: start to slow down...clutch cane/bags or clench
fists...move all goods to left hand.
2 meters: start panicking and prematurely raise right arm to put it
on the hand rail thingy
1 meters: look at feet and lower arm to approximate level of hand
rail thingy
,1 meters: put both feet at edge of esclator...
pause...
Pause...
block traffic...
Hold hand just above hand rail thingy and lift leading foot (usually
the right one)...
wait....
Use these 5 seconds to get the rhythm of the escalator...count the
moving steps as they go by...
put hand on hand rail thingy, but only for a second so you can make
sure your depth perception is working....
lift leading foot higher, hold breath, close eyes and fall
forward....
once both feet are on the steps and you feel yourself moving
downward move hard to the right to get out of the way of all the
people who were backup up behind you and want to make up time....
go home, watch Matlock/Who wants to be a millionaire and then make soup.
I wonder if I'll read this as an old man and think times were different when I was young. When I'm old I'll carry mace and a tazer to ward off of the whippersnappers.
29,11,07
I just watched a you tube video of quiet riot...before my time...but
I knew the song (metal health) from my uncle bob...every song I know
from the 80's I know from him....I remember having to go into his
room when he had the record (huh..vinyl...) on full blast while he
was taking a shower and having to turn the music off...the room was
vibrating and stuff....ahhh...journey....loverboy....def lepard....bon
jovi...even metallica....mention any of these names and i think of
you bob....I only wish you had the hair... ;)
saddest thing about the video is that at one point I may have been
tapping my toes to the music..."Metal health will drive you wild!!!"
there may be a pre pre party at minnesota lawyers
tomorrow...the actual party is next weekend and I will be in
France...
the Pre party is on Saturday....gluhwein makes people say strange
things....
two gallants tickets purchased by 2,0...fingerpickin' guitar....always makes me think of grandpa squires...
Since I'm now on family....rumour has it I'm 1/16 Indian (Native American) and 1/16 German.
I'm going to buy this shirt in honour of america...since my last sweatshirt magically disappeared...someone get me a sweatshirt for xmas...Large please since Medium doesn't cover my sexy arse... :)
After Yesterdays entry i got another email asking about the england job...I just can't even make it any clearer....when i say THE ENGLAND JOB...it's the national coach of the football team....THEY AREN'T GOING TO HIRE ME AND I WAS NOT APPROACHED ABOUT THE JOB.... ;)
my deutsch teacher had a 5 minute conversation with me in English during the middle of Deutsch class...I will forgive him cuz he's a pretty good teacher I think, but he has my address now...should I be scared....?
28,11,07
aussie Mel: Don't make fun of people in wheelchairs!!!
so serious...was that really the most offensive thing i said all
week...I obviously need to do better next week.
I've been compared to two celebrities this
week....I had to look up Harald Schmidt! Not sure if either was a
compliment though ;)
of course they were compliments...have you seen how good I look
lately...
I did get the comment this week that I'm turning more German....It's
only cuz I haven't been warm for weeks. Not my fault...
two people asked me about the England job...yeah...it's just not happening...
27,11,07
ok my brilliant plan was to find something to complain about every
day regarding the xmas market...but since I just came from there and
I don't want to be negative for the next 30 days I'm going to try to
do it all tonight....
strollers, children, dogs, people with dogs, people who drink too
much, carousels, chocolate, fat people, fat people with children,
fat people with dogs, old people, old people with their
grandchildren, people not like me, americans, protestors, church
bells, bright lights, stupid people, cannibals, people not like you,
cobblestones, DHL, fed ex, the england football team, men who have
problems connecting ears, mouth and brain when having an emotional
discussion with their women, small wooden figurines wearing
christmas stuff, Nikolaus (jerk), stuff, flowers, weather....that's
all I got...I guess this means I'll have nothing to complain about
for the next 30 days right?
who is the other person in France who reads this page regularly?
27,11,07
people in wheelchairs should not be allowed at the market...day 2.
about the eng uh lund job....I was approached
about the position, but turned it down. It was merely a negotiating
tactic however as I know they will be back with a better offer
soon.
Why yes I do have one of the great football minds of our lifetime...
where is Jeff (father)?
26,11,07
first day of xmas market and I'm already annoyed...I saw about 5
people with walking sticks...what's that about...they take up the
space of 2 people and move way too slow for the number of people
that are about...whose brilliant idea is it to let the old people
out...gee gramma hasn't been out of the house for a year...she can't
walk...hmmm where can we take her that will be fun? oh I don't know
someplace where she'll get in the way...somewhere with cobblestone
streets so she can attempt to walk even slower than usual...hmmmmm...somewhere
that we can give her wine to make her walk even slower and have to
concentrate whilst not falling over the cobblestones....hmmmmmm....oh
I know...
and people that hold umbrellas while looking at their feet are lame....please try not to poke me in the eye....
it's xmas markt day one and I did I mention I'm annoyed....
25,11,07
saw Jamie Clarke last night. Former Pogues guitarist...was
good...drummer was my favorite...he drums standing up and if not for
the wall 2 cm behind him I think he would have fallen over. We
weren't sure if he was going to puke or pass out first...luckily he
did neither....he was actually pretty good considering how bad he
was looking.
there was a woman at the next table that rides the same train as me everyday...isn't that weird when you see someone out of context...
on the way home I was accosted by two drunk german women who said I looked like Nicholas Cage "only better". was a bit weird...Not sure if it was an insult or not...I kept walking...
Carly: You can take beer on the train...???
24,11,07
I called the family on thursday and it was nice, but my favourite
comment was from Cindy. She said something like "As long as You're
happy that's all that matters". Thanks Cindy. how true. I was trying
to think if anyone else in my family had ever said that to me, and I
can't recall a time.
No judgement. I guess my parents were focused on other things?!?
24,11,07
The fake green lit up tree hanging on the side of Paulskirche is
taunting me. It's there for the xmas market, but the market has yet
to open...
I'm already annoyed at the number of slow moving people in the area.
i think I complained about it last year and I'm sure I'll complain
about it this year.
I watched some cartoon dubbed into Deutsch and it seems they don't have commercial breaks during TV here...I remember thinking when I went to Denver last year that there were WAAAAAAY too many commercial breaks on american TV and it's basically unwatchable because of that.
I have not driven a car in over a year...weird one that...
sorry if you came to this page hoping to be offended...I don't have it in me yet today ;)
...and for the record...I am not interested in the England job...but thanks for the consideration...
23,11,07
Deutsch I learned this week...
Ich Schlage dir die fresse ein!
literally "I strike you penetrate" but I guess it more directly
translates to I'll kick the shit out of you.
und
Korinthenkacker
"A raisin pooper -- that is someone so taken up with lifes trivial
detail that they spend all day crapping raisins. You can spot these
types a mile off. It's that irritating pen pusher of filing
fanatic whose favourite job is tidying up the stationary cupboard."
I have the best Deutsch teacher ever!!!
OK now to the format....
the xmas markt is nicht geöffnet (sorry I have no idea of the article).
from wiki:
The concept of Manifest Destiny has acquired a variety of meanings over the years, and its inherent ambiguity has been part of its power. In the generic political sense, however, it was usually used to refer to the idea that the American government was "destined" to establish uninterrupted political authority across the entire North American continent, from one ocean to the other.
and the 3/5 rule
Representatives and direct Taxes shall
be apportioned among the several States which may be included within
this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be
determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons,
including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and
excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other
Persons
Yes if you owned slaves you got extra votes...
Pretend I said something offensive...
damn I look good today...not my normal...wow I look good today, but really people...again...I'm not making anything up...
damn you mel!
22,11,07 part 2
OK people...I may have finally figured out how this blog works....In
fact if I'm right I actually have a sort of format which kind of
makes me a sophisticated blogger...
2) try to explain comments from a previous blog
3) Offend people or peoples
4) Write about how sexy I am.
here's an example
step 1) write something either completely boring i.e.
The Frankfurt weather is nice...except when it's windy...very much like Oregon, but without so much rain...
OR
write something that everyone can get behind...i.e.
Fat people are fat...
OR
old people are old...
OR
Midgets are short...
FOLLOWED BY a twist that offends...i.e. a statement that I agree with 19-99%...i.e.
...and the world is better off without them because they are expensive for health care etc.
another example...
People in cults should lock themselves underground and just kill themselves....
TWIST
christianity is a cult....
OR
Nirvana sucks!
wait for someone to comment on my above statements and then half apologize...
uhhhh......I love midgets...
Step 3)
Offending on purpose is hard....I never try to do it it just seems
to happen....
Step 4) I am a sexy bitch!
hmmmmm if I was Matt I would have actually thought this through and
formulated an opinion before writing, but since this is me...I just
can't do that and rarely edit myself...though maybe I will have to
here...oh well happy thanksgiving anyways....
someone in Spain visited my page..hi Corinna....
I just realized since Corinna only checks this page about once every 3 months that she'll probably never read that....
22,11,07
I think what I was really trying to say last night
with my comment about happiness is that
people have constant distractions i.e. buying clothes, buying
"stuff", partying, working, greed, eating, TV and these things are
often just distractions from people being alone with their thoughts
and possibly a distraction to the fact that they are really doing
nothing productive with their lives...though one could argue that
eating, partying, and watching TV are their own rewards...as is
shopping....and sometimes working...ok once again I question why
anyone reads this...
I've decided I'm just not fond of the fox n hound. The food is bad...the food is bad...the food is bad. The service is pretty bad...however I've never had a waitress be so sincere when asking "would you like some ice cubes in your water?". Wow eye contact and standing 2 inches in front of me to make sure I saw you....why yes I would like some ice cubes in my water...thanks!
happy thanksgiving...in honour of this day I think
someone needs to kill whitey. Manifest destiny rocks...it's only too
bad that there weren't any other diseases the natives didn't have a
resistance to...***
***Please note sarcasm. Too bad in a nation founded on "religious
principles" (those wacky masons) there weren't more "pro life"
people back in the last half of the 1800's or were the Natives not
really people 3/5th rule applies there as well maybe...thank you
jesus for letting us kill the weak and less than human...
So a colleague has to buy a second condolence card this week and I said you should just buy a 12 pack (wow have I always been such an insensitive jerk?). Now that we're old it's only going to get worse from here.
My apologies to all the people in the states (and wherever else I've been) who will die before I ever see you again...it's not that I don't care.
I've been saying this for years, but never on this page...when I die I want my funeral to be me being fed to alligators or piranhas or something...Have me chopped into little bits and anyone who wants to throw a piece of me to the alligators can do so...how cool would it be if someone got too close and the alligators ate someone besides me....and i want circle of life to be played repeatedly while this is all happening...actually people should hold hands and sing along...
and i wonder as i sit here by myself, if one is not truly happy alone if they can ever be truly happy with other people.
another pic from Friday night...as Matt muses...:
"And the question on everyone's lips is...what do Squires' fingers smell like?"
20,11,07
I just slept for 9 hours straight through...that probably hasn't happened since I was about 8 years old...wow...feels good...
More importantly to my fellow frankfurters I was awoken to the sounds of people setting up trailers for the xmas market...it's about that time....I know it doesn't officially open until the 26th, but I'm guessing tonight there will be an option for gluhwein und wurst down below my flat...I'll keep you all posted...
yes I'm writing this at 7:34 am...I was so excited to share my news I made an entry instead of getting ready for work....
19,11,07
being sick is fun!
Friday night Luca was gracious enough to get a few tickets to an opening night at the museum he works at...(Senckenberg...thanks to Alec for describing his works as ,scientific stuff')was a great night, even though I was just starting to get sick and was not 100%. We still had fun...here are some pics...
we apparently weren't supposed to be sneaking around in the dinosaur area, but the security man was nice...-
my latest plan to learn Deutsch is to have Deutsch tv on as I'm doing homework...current choices are the A team, the Fall guy, News, a cartoon with anorexic girls, news, weather news, and bundislega...
have settled on the A team (that wacky murdoch!) however as I'm typing this I'm apparently not doing homework...drat!
I think I just heard Colonel Decker...US Army...some things just don't translate eh...
it's about 10 minutes later and there's a montage about murdoch and Mr. T...opposites attract....DUDE!!!! an A Team Montage...wow...seen it all...
17,11,07
tomology is apparently NOT the study of Tom...huh....
and for those people who have 3d glasses in thier pockets...me me me...
http://www.joelfletcher.com/3d-nightmare.html
16,11,07
got another "let's burn this mother down" comment...how many times did I actually say that in Polen?
15,11,07
the airport needs to have more comfy chairs like at a decent starbucks...plastic chairs or pieces of marble just don't get it done for me.
I was listening to crackers Kerosene Hat and it was like hearing it for the first time...I love that...
I don't have a real top 10 album list but rather a "Yeah that would have to be considered for my top 10 album list" (I'm saving the actual list until I'm homeless or have some kind of forum to ramble in....oh wait....)...so what was I talking about.....
yeah that album is on my might be considered for top 10 greatest ever...
but it's personal.
14,11,07
so I thought that I was not going to have a birthday this year (my plan) but geez you tell one little german that your birthday is coming and she just can't keep it a secret...so I was invited to dinner...apparently it was some kind of surprise...gee lets have dinner on a tuesday...no special reason...we often go out for dinner on a Tuesday.... :)
anyways it was a great night and really not expected...thanks to Kat, matt, 2,0, Luca and Phil (and Sanne for not keeping secrets) for taking me out and making me laugh on my day....as I've probably said 12 times...Napoleon had conquered Europe at 33...what have I ever done?
some pics
happy Birthday (in case you can't read the card)...Jimmy James Squires...(wtf!!!!)...
and also was pleasantly surprised to find 2 cards from the states in my box...thanks to everyone in the states that wrote me a note...
also called my nan...
13,11,07
thank you Techem for being the best alarm ever! You could of at least brought me coffee.
11,11,07
just heard a cracker song and after the line
"just so we're not being sexist..." you can hear someone talking in the background saying "what'
s wrong with being sexy..."
from Spinal Tap the movie...
Elvis had a twin that died during birth (I think)...so that must mean the mother was carrying Elvii....yeah matt that was for you...ur such a skeptic....:)
from Mel:
" Although it is often supposed that octopi is the 'correct' plural of octopus, and it has been in use for longer than the usual Anglicized plural octopuses, it in fact originates as an error. Octopus is not a simple Latin word of the second declension, but a Latinized form of the Greek word oktopous, and its 'correct' plural would logically be octopodes.
Other words ending in -us show a very varied pattern. Like
octopi, the plural hippopotami is now generally taken to be either
funny or absurdly pedantic, and the usual plural is hippopotamuses.
Common usage appears to indicate a slight preference for termini
rather than terminuses, but syllabuses rather than syllabi. Other
usual forms include cacti and gladioli, and our files at the
dictionary department show scarcely any examples of nucleuses or
funguses. (Omnibi is simply a joke, and quite ungrammatical in
Latin!) "
saw Family guy season 4 episode entitled "Sibling Rivalry" absolutely classic...more laughs in the first 3 minutes than you find in most half hour shows...watch it if u got it...I was so inspired that my intention was to find dialogue for the whole beginning but I can't so I just quit and tell you people to watch it if u got it...again....ok I found this at least...
Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.
I just realized that germans won't get that whole scene...oh well...do I ever edit myself...no way.....
was the black kid on Peanuts named Franklin?
I'm actually washing my shower curtain right now...I believe this is the first time I've ever washed a shower curtain...I somehow had an epiphany the other night that I could put the shower curtain in the washing machine....I think normal people probably do this regularly....how have I survived life so far?
08,11,07
I ate an apple today...tina wanted to take a picture...I somehow have a reputation for avoiding healthy food...hmmppphhh
who dresses more like an offduty stripper...brazilians or Ukranians...discuss...
note: I am not discussing quality or intelligence or persons only dress....ok now discuss...
I have discovered that germans will give unsolicited opinions on hair/dress etc...I didn't really realize this until recently but in germans apparently it's OK to give someone an honest opinion whether they ask for it or not...I think in the states if someone gets a new haircut that's ugly people will still try to be nice about it...not in Germany...
in the states the most insulting anyone would ever be would be to say something passive aggressive then say "but it looks good on you..."
my grandpa once told me not to wear shorts...
as I mentioned a few days ago I love the lyric "Love is only for the lovely"...a constant reminder that people love differently, and some people will never feel love like they can give it.
what I really mean is the people who need love the least sometimes get it the most and the people who need it are the ones who never get it.
who reads this crap....really there are much more intelligent bloggers our there...
happy birthday scorpios!!!!
some guy was whistling as he walked through paulsplatz...I Haven't heard whistling for a while...I used to whistle...
some dude was playing don't cry for me argentina on the violin below my flat a few days ago...It was rather beautiful and I assume now that the version I know is not the original...it sounded like a very old song...
is it possible to be overly logical and overly emotional at the same time??
06,11,07
apparently my great great grandfather was a Friedrich from Saarbrücken. Deutschland!!!
there's some sort of protest in Paulzplatz and a bunch of students trying to hang out in the middle of Berliner strasse for the sole purpose of blocking traffic. there are about as many police as students...Good grief...does this qualify as economic terrorism...my tax dollars at work. Paying for students to hang out in the streets and go to school and for the cops to control them...jerks!
thanks Corinna for "Schrumpelgesicht"
-------------------------------
The moonlight feels my reflection,
but it cant see me...
it cant see my expression,
My contempt of the moon,
it cant hate itself...
I wont let it.
the sun wont let it.
and does the moon realize anything?
can it have a thought?
can it feel?
can it wonder
will I get up tomorrow?
for the moon has no morning,
and the sky has no end,
and time has no meaning,
until tomorrow.
and then...
time comes again
only to remind me
that it'll be gone soon.
-----------------------------
I'm hoping to feel a chill
tomorrow.
I want to be alive.
Like getting something you want,
for the very first time,
and that feeling.
But in the midst of what's on the
floor
and the bed and the walls,
there's a void
contradicting the mess,
saying...shouting
all the things that I need,
and whispering louder
that I'll never get them.
---------------------------------
05,11,07
the leaves along the river here are beautiful. I like fall, but it's awful cold tonight...
I apparently have a dentist appointment at the dentist in my building...yay me!
this is sad that I have nothing better to write about than my upcoming Dentist visit...
better watch some family guy and go to sleep.
Sanne: it's like sex...German style...
I have no idea how to spell the sound that elephants make...am I just not remembering?
04,11,07
Lost a sweatshirt.
Met some more nice French people. saw the beautiful French coast in Brittany...if anyone in the states is thinking of visiting France I would definitely recommend Brittany (but bring a French speaker). Bordeaux isn't that interesting and I have not been to Paris yet, but unless you want to visit Disneyland Paris (I DO!!!!) I can't imagine Paris really has anything more interesting or beautiful than Brittany...there are plenty of old stones etc everywhere in Europe, so spare yourself the big city...The French I've known don't even like Parisians...
took a buttload of pics, so check the Brittany page...
One thing I found interesting is Gaelic similarities...there are many monoliths in Brittany and there is a Bretagne language which is apparently similar to Gaelic... I'm oblivious to the history of that (did these people come from the UK then to France, vice versa, or did the original Gaelic people come from further north and populate both areas at the same time?). Interesting...real question is will I be interested enough to actually do a bit of research...
spent some time learning Deutsch...I now have mastered verbs...
when i saw mastered I mean I now know that the plural singular verb is the same as the formal plural plural singular verb...
this just in...I have no clue about Deutsch, but I now how to say all forms of the verb fiken...but apparently I don't know how to spell fiken.
anyways...the week was great...might have been the Best holiday ever!!!!!
it's 17:30 and dark...
28,10,07
now that I'm thinking about it...I don't know of any turkish people at work...I guess that's the question of the day...do Germans dislike italians or turks more?
and now that I'm thinking about italians...a colleague told me why she dislikes Italians (as it seems many germans do).
"they're loud and obnoxious...sort of like americans..."
and now that I'm thinking about it
28,10,07
Phil: I like Sanne way more than I like you...
27,10,07
in case you missed it I just used t'was and a'twittering there...It wasn't the fact that i got up at 6:30 on a saturday that should tell you I'm an old man, it's my use of colloquialisms like that...words with apostrophes rock!!! and no I have no idea if the use of apostrophes in those words is correct, but I'm wagering that noone else does either...please don't look it up and correct me ;)
I've lost the CSS battle...from now on every entry will get it's own font...matt save me...
26,10,07 "that's not a beard that's an I tried to shave and ran out of razorblades..." (sanne)
and finally met 2,0's gf this week...She shared the story about Eric putting sausage in his mouth...he didn't seem to recall that moment...
Best story of the night
Stephanie: Did you tell him about the nazi cartographer?
2,0: no...So we were in Subway....
at this point I started laughing and stopped listening...cuz the story was all downhill after those two lines...but the two lines are funny...
25,10,07
sick sick sick...also cold and hungry...sleeping did not come (always the annoying struggle when you have a sore throat if you'll fall asleep before you have to swallow again...cuz if you swallow then it wakes you up). Have no medicine and no food so unfortunately I have to go out into the world. then quickly come back for another attempted nap.
This weather has me wanting love more tangible.
the Cracker countrysides album is pretty good...On first listen I wasn't that excited, but listening again I find it incredibly funny....
and my favorite lyrics ever for a 3 minute song (Rev Horton Heat):
Yeeeehaaaa!!!!!
Get naked!
Buy us beer!
(No/Build/Throw/?) furniture!
Gin 'n Tonic!
Get naked!
23,10,07
if I had it in me I would defend Robbie Williams tonight....not because I think she's relevant, but just to piss Matt off...
and since we all know that if it's online it must be true....
1) I am a Pundit....(yes i just capitalized Pundit because I am one...)
2) Christy = Ronaldo
4a) not implying that there are any particular girls that matt likes more than christy, but even 2,0 likes girls from Minnesota...
I've attempted to explain to the 39th oregonian (Vicki in Oregon) that the german beer is not good...especially compared to Oregon...they have purity laws so that I think most german beers have only 4 ingredients...never get a rubinator here people...luckily I can buy british beer at restaurants. that includes Guinness. which is british as we all know...
I am no longer just using candles for light, but also for heat...
congrats matt!!!!!
I'm not congratulating you for any reason in particular, but behind Matt's right shoulder is some chick from minnesota...this was during the rugby world cup final...I got to yell Eng Uh Lund a lot....lately it's my favorite thing to yell...not sure why...
the fosters hat contents are in my bag...
I am wishing I had my mango flavored toothpaste now...almost of out the good stuff so that means I have to make my monthly shopping trip soon...apfelwein etc....what else was I supposed to get?
People seem to think
a shy personality equals gifted
but if they got to know one
I'm sure that idea would have shifted
Most shy people I know
are extremely boring
either that or they are miserable
from all the shit they've been storing
21,10,07
a quote from 2,0: "I played the vibraphone...I also play the Marimba...any melodic percussion instrument really...I used to own a rosewood marimba..."
and in honour of 2,0 http://www.slate.com/id/2176198/
its Jean Claude van Damme...I don't even like van damme, but the article is funny...here's a bit:
Jean-Claude's other limitation, however, has turned out to be impossible to overcome: He can't act. If that sounds judgmental, then I suggest you watch Universal Soldier, a movie in which both he and Dolph Lundgren play cybernetically enhanced, reanimated corpses. You'd think this was the perfect showcase for Jean-Claude Van Damme, but watching him pit his acting ability against Lundgren's is like watching one of Jerry's Kids get in the ring with Mike Tyson. Even as a zombified killing machine, Jean-Claude is clearly out of his depth.
But he's managed to do a lot with a little. Jean-Claude has three expressions: worried, charming, and doing a split. Of the three, doing a split is the most convincing. Getting crucified in Cyborg? Worried. Disposing of a bomb that could blow up a sacred Muslim shrine and start a jihad in The Order? Really worried. Meeting a spunky lady reporter in any number of movies? Charming. Confronting the hitmen who killed his wife? Do a split.
For a lot of actors, not being able to act would be an obstacle, but Jean-Claude has transformed it into his trademark. Acting? Acting is for weirdos like Forest Whitaker (Bloodsport), Kylie Minogue (Street Fighter), or Kieran Culkin (Nowhere to Run). Jean-Claude is just a normal, average guy, you know? When he fights, he likes to head-butt his opponents and kick them in the nuts, the way normal people fight.
its incredibly cold here (1-2 C) and I realize I am woefully unprepared for winter... last year i just wore sweatshirts all winter, but they are now either worn out or don't fit so I need some warm clothes...drat...more shopping...
20,10,07
CSS is making me angry...sorry for the bad font and weird formatting...someday I'll make an effort...
I'm currently admiring the hypocrisy of everything and everyone I've ever known. Myself included of course...
Lately I've been listening to a lot of Bright Eyes...at the fear of getting comments from Matt ;) I'm going to post some that seem relevant to me...
Sunrise, sunset.
Sunrise, sunset.
Swiftly go the days.
Sunrise, sunset.
You wake up, then you undress.
It always is the same.
The sunrise and the sunsets.
You are lying while you confess, keep trying to explain.
The sunrise and the sunsets
You realize then you forget what you've been trying to retain.
But everybody knows that it is all about the things
that get stuck inside of your head,
like the songs your roommate sings
or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed.
She raised her hands in the air, asked you,
When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
Cause you've changed.
Yeah, you've changed.
Sunrises, sunsets.
You're hopeful then you regret.
The circle never breaks.
With a sunrise and a sunset there's a change of heart or address.
Is there nothing that remains?
For a sunrise or a sunset.
You're manic or you're depressed.
Will you ever feel ok?
For a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress.
Did you really think she'd stay?
For a sunrise or a sunset.
You're either coming or you just left but you're always on the way.
Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet.
They are really just the same.
To the sunrise and the sunset.
The master and his servant have exactly the same fate.
It's a sunrise and a sunset.
From a cradle to a casket.
There is no way to escape.
The sunrise and the sunset.
Hold your sadness like a puppet, keep putting on the play.
But everything you do is leading to the point
where you just won't know what to do.
And at that moment you may laugh
but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.
So it's true, the trick is complete.
Become everything you said you never would be.
You're a fool! You're a fool!
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset.
Sunrise and the sunsets.
Sunrise, sunset, sunrises, sunsets.
Sunrise and the sunsets.
Sunrise, sunset.
Go home to your apartment
and put the cassette in the tape deck and let that fever play.
Sunrise, sunset.
Where are you Arienette?
Where are you Arienette?
"Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love And Be Loved)"
Well, the animals laugh from the dark of the wilderness.
A baby cries hard in an apartment complex,
as I pass in a car buried under the influence.
The city's driving me out of my mind.
I've seen a child is caught in the sad trap of gravity.
He falls from the lowest branch of the apple tree
and lands in the grass and weeps for his dignity.
Next time he will not aim so high.
Yeah, next time, neither will I.
Now a mother takes loans out, sends her kids off to colleges.
Her family's reduced to names on a shopping list.
While, a coroner kneels beneath a great, wooden crucifix.
He knows there's worse things than being alone.
And so I've learned to retreat at the first sign of danger.
I mean, why wait around, if it's just to surrender?
An ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure.
I do not read the reviews.
No, I am not singing for you.
Well I stood dropping a coin into the pit of a well.
And I would throw my whole billfold if I thought it would help.
With all these wishes I make,
I should buy something real, at least a telephone call home.
Well, my teachers, they built this retaining wall of memory,
all those multiple choices I answered so quickly.
And got my grades back and forgot just as easily,
but as least I got an A.
And so I don't have them to blame.
Well I should stop pointing fingers;
reserve my judgment of all those public action figures,
the cowboy presidents.
So loud behind the bullhorn, so proud they can't admit
when they've made a mistake.
While poison ink spews from a speechwriter's pen,
he knows he don't have to say it,
so it, it don't bother him.
"Honesty", "Accuracy" is just "Popular Opinion."
And the approval rating's high,
and so someone's gonna die.
Well ABC, NBC, CBS: Bullshit.
They give us fact or fiction? I guess an even split.
And each new act of war is tonight's entertainment.
We're still the pawns in their game.
As they take eye for an eye until no one can see,
we must stumble blindly forward, repeating history.
Well, I guess we all fit into your slogan
on the fast food marquee:
Red blooded, White skinned oh and the Blues.
Oh and the Blues, I got the Blues! That's me! That's me!
Well, I awoke in relief.
My sheets and tubes were all tangled weak from whiskey and pills,
in a Chicago hospital.
And my father was there, in a chair, by the window, staring so far away.
I tried talking, just whispered, "...so sorry...so selfish..."
He stopped me and said, "Child I love you regardless
and there's nothing you could do that would ever change this.
I'm not angry. It happens. But you just can't do it again."
So now I try to keep up, I've been exchanging my currency.
While a million objects pass through my periphery.
Now I'm rubbing my eyes 'cause they're starting to bother me.
I've been staring too long at the screen.
But where was it when I first heard a sweet sound of humility?
It came to my ears in the goddamn loveliest melody.
How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery,
to love and to be loved. Let's just hope that is enough.
20,10,07
Matt is in love with the "male form"...that once a day thing is going to be a mistake soon...but I'm glad you have principles... :)
What is the plural of seamus?
O-I-N-K sorry cuz. I'm not fond of myspace. Try email...
This just in...real men wear Periwinkle....
19,10,07
This is what I have to come home too....should have called in sick today so I could craft a proper response...
you may be right about her deciding what was best for her, but I doubt it..and that's the sad thing...she never heard them...
there has been plenty of good music made in the last 15 years, and we apparently haven't heard it. Is that her fault? mine? if chad and the chadettes really were the best we had in the past 15 years then I would just have to agree with you. Are you honestly saying that's true and really are you still listening to bands that have been disbanded (heh) for 10 years...no reason to move on...
Why isn't a rock club playing led zeppelin immediately following Nirvana?
Much worse is the great music made in the past 1000 years that we all missed out on...why?
oh and thanks for capitalizing english...I had no idea...
just because someone existed and was made into a religious figure doesn't mean they were divine.
"turns out his abilities might have been exaggerated a bit..." http://youtube.com/watch?v=e2o1ww_Nexk
in conclusion...you win...I lose...every combination of notes has already been played at every tempo so I'm just going to assume that music is dead and I'm just going to listen to drum/bass so I have an excuse to shake my arse...
scuse me...a song from Nirvana unplugged just came on...this will be my last change to appreciate music before my changeover...I didn't until this moment recognize that this was the greatest moment in music...
and my favourite quote ever from matt
"No-one ever wore Winger shirts, not even their roadies."
cheers mate...enjoy...I'm only here to give you material...but really aren't you worried that if you make an entry every day that all the modern people with 2 second attention spans won't bother to read you every day...
I'm boycotting questions marks in honour of matt....
Meat Puppets (the) suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM APPARENTLY USING EXCLAMATION MARKS AND CAPS STILL.....
ready go!!!!!!!
18,07,07
so apparently the poor girl mentioned below needs to be defended by matt and I was juicing up for a proper response, but after a bit of bad news I just am no longer in the mood...so I just give a pissed off response that won't make sense to anyone but me...
yes the dandy warhols suck....I never said they didn't...I haven't seen a zeppelin shirt since....ever....why don't u just argue that jesus was a punk...
My point was that the poor girl wasn't old enough to hear or see Nirvana. She unfortunately was made a victim by media, her ignorant friends and the sorry rock clubs that have insisted on playing a tiny sliver of music that was popular and still in the memory of those who have power over her. If Winger or Led Zeppelin or Robert Johnson or Che Guevara, the Stanwyck Sisters, the Stanley Brothers or Gilbert and Sullivan had made a decent song ever she would never know it cuz she's been led to believe that what she listens to is as good as it gets...and she hasn't questioned that...
now of course I'm making silly assumptions that she has never heard any of those people I just listed, but based on her look I feel comfortable making that assumption....
once upon a time I could accept that everyone walking down the street had something to teach me, but now I wonder if they could teach me something before irritating me...
the more people I meet the less I know...
cancer is crab meat...
I think the band was Frente...and no I didn't buy the ticket...I did however get lost on the way home...getting off on the wrong freeway exit and then driving back towards Portland when ur trying to go to Salem and have to work at 8 the next day sucks....
Frente is a band to be proud of...
jason zeh is to be blamed for the fiasco...
17,10,07
Why do I have two pieces of chalk in my pocket...oh yeah...sorry...
so today I see some 14 year old girl with a Nirvana sticker on her jacket and as usual this pisses me off...it's like the 3 times I've gone to a rock club here and they play Nirvana...so the last time nirvana released a relevant album was 1991...so do some math people...how come I don't recall wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt in 1990 (10 years later), or a winger shirt in 1994. It's nice that this poor girl thinks that with her all black outfit and Punk is dead sticker that she's somehow a non Brittany spears, but really she is just another Brittany spears wanna be that ate exactly what was fed to her...I'm not judging you you cow for the music you listen to, but really...stop wearing bad religion badges (who were never relevant btw). Punk has been dead for 40 years...which reminds me of 1994 seeing the dandy warhols and quasi opening for some australian band...what's his face warhol told us that punk is dead and it's like even the sorry bands like them knew that punk was dead way back when you were 1 year old.
wil has promised a home cooked meal at his place the first sunday in November...actually looking forward to that I think....
16,10,07
KLM is not the greatest airline I've ever been on....when i say not the greatest I don't mean to imply that they aren't they worst airline ever...however considering the business I work in I would never say anything like KLM is the worst airline ever...never ever...never...but I do want to be clear that KLM is not the best airline I've ever been on...
that is all on that topic...
french cab drivers are more than willing to rip you off...jerks....no tips...
I've complained about the rude Germans waiting to get on the streetcar, but the french are worse...the germans will stand there and not really get out of the way as you are attempting to dismount...while the bloody french will actually try to board the train before everyone is even off...I've started to just run into people as i get off...unless they make an effort to get out of my way or they are old ladies...I think this is like road rage on the public transport...
on a related topic can a german give me some deutsch I can utter to warn people that I'm about to run into them if they don't get out of my way...achtung hackfresse!!!! I'm about to run into your sorry arse, and If I'm carrying a bag that hits you a second time I'm not sorry about it...
mom I still need your address!!!! are you still on dial up?
everyone has one frisbee story and it always involves the time someone got hit in the face with a frisbee...
why does MS want to capitalize Frisbee....I can't express how that makes me feel.
10.1
I was told this week I might be a god and I should consider divinity school. hmm
hits from the frankfurt international school of frankfurt...FISF...or something...they apparently use macs at the international frankfurt school of frankfurt...IFSoF...Is this you Mel? yes impersonal....
klaatu verata niktu!
8,10,07
07,10,07
anybody???07,10,07
06,10,07
06,10,07
It also pleases me to think that once this page is indexed that someone will someday type in "world Poo tour" and my page will come up first...
06,10,07 have been looking at web statistics for this sight...I know that tracking user by IP address is not entirely accurate, but...questions...
who around Berlin is looking at this?
Who is St Paul Minnesota?
Do I have an aunt there?
Is this one of 2,0's 12 non-girlfriends? Sorry if you are one of 2,0's 12 non girlfriends...what I really meant to say is are you 2,0's one and only non-gf...he talks about you all the time...
apparently someone came to my sight be searching on
"photos of an iranian artist"
"obese man sitting on skinny man squires"
"matt kat rockabilly sydney"
and what technocrat is out there using Netscape 4.0 to view my site...you're an inspiration to us all...
and for Matt (800x600)...I'm glad to report that the animated gif is now working...enjoy.
06,10,07
only occasionally do I really dislike where I live (in the middle of the city)...when a parade of students feels the need to protest something...anything at all at 12 a.m. it annoys...jerks! Great that you somehow managed to scrape up enough money to put some large speakers in your car or even rent a van so you can dj while moving at 3 meters per minute...I'm so proud of you. I don't care what your cause is...and thanks for getting a police escort.
on an even more meaningless note...had a nice sit down dinner at a traditional german type place on reunification day...that was nice. I do love spätzle. 2 yanks, 2 aussies, an irish and italian a german and a korean...was almost as impressive as the other night last week when we had 10 people at one table of ten different nationalities...
watched "hang em high" tonight...was a montage of stares, bad camera tricks, bad zooms, bad squints and bad dialogue or more often lack of dialogue...b movie...thanks Clint! so bad it is now possibly my favourite western...
that monkey ate at mcdonalds last night...
03,10,07
Rollmopsed was apparently turned into a verb tonight...
day 1 of not talking about poo...Don't talk about poo...Don't talk about poo...Don't talk about poo...
02,10,07
today I got a text with 28 emoticons in it...I know what you're thinking...why not 30....well I was thinking that too..why not 30? the previous record text was 4 emoticons for the text "zwei dumme, ein gedanke"...which if I recall is something like two idiots, one idea...which is a great phrase btw...anyways 28 emoticons on my phone creates 4 rows of 6 and one row of 4...not symmetrical...
tomorrow is unification day...day off...this is my revenge for having to work July 4th I guess...Saw modest mouse on that day...which reminded me that I had to work July 4th...it also reminded me why one should never have more than 5 hairs growing out of the mole on their neck....
My personal limit is 3....
was threatened by an aussie hooligan that I need to be at the liverpool game tomorrow...I thought football was about sportsmanship, teamwork, sacrifice etc...apparently it's about drinking and yelling at people...euros.....
oh wait...aussies aren't euros...
I've been accused of being obsessed with poo...well starting tomorrow I'm not going to write anymore about poo... there is no such thing as poo....
these aren't the droids you're looking for.
I also know that a lot of people don't know how to take this page...just follow my rule when someone speaks Deutsch to me and I have no idea what they're saying...smile and nod...smile and nod...
and if you actually get something I write then just say "that's a good one that..."as your smiling and nodding of course...:)
01,10,07
Two weeks on and I'm still trying to figure out if "you have a young mind" was really somehow a twisted compliment :)
guess where I'll be in two weeks...oh yeah...frankfurt...
am watching 6th season of scrubs tonight...episode 6...the musical episode...
here's a song from the musical...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-OIgXyvzUU
selected lyrics below...
Hey ms miller...we just need a stool sample
why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
cuz the answers not in your head my dear, it's in your butt.
from the top of your head to the sole of your shoe.
we can figure out what's wrong with you...by looking at your poo...
30,09,07
after a few complaint's I've decided to make the font larger...however because I don't really want anyone to actually read this page I've decided to change the font...enjoy :)
What a gorgeous day in Frankfurt...the weather has been pretty gray lately, but today is just a perfect fall day...It makes me love Sundays.
bought Civilization IV yesterday...very excited...I had it in the states and accidentally left one of the 2 disks there and couldn't play the game without that disk...
I realize noone cares, but just share my joy people...:)
I am currently looking forward to being an old man wearing white suits with a white hat...
29,09,07
I was in the elevator Friday morning at work with a guy I don't think I've ever talked to but I know he works in the mail department. I broke my badge and I know that the mail group has the badges...
I asked him if he was in the post office and can I have a new badge...
mailman: yes. I'll bring it to you later.
me: You know where I sit?
mailman: ja
so I go back to my desk and a couple hours later he comes round with an internal office pouch with a badge inside...on the internal office mail are my initials...
he leaves.
me: geez he knows my initials...
tina: everyone knows you.
so best story ever, but I still find it strange that people at work know me but I don't know them...it's kind of annoying actually. I just don't know what to make of it...
was accosted by a mormon today....he spoke to me in deutsch and I basically got that in a few minutes he was going to play some football at grunerweg park and I think he was inviting me along...I said nein danke and he sort of figured out I was a yank...I told him cheers but I was busy. asked in english where I was from and blah blah...I'm from utah....no shit genius...how did I know that...
He offered me a book or mormon and said it would help in me with my life...as if I was a begger on the zeil....I was on the zeil and maybe I do look homeless from time to time (the portland look), but really....It would be much easier to be rude to mormons if they weren't so bloody nice...I've known mormons in the past and I really think the ones I've worked with and known are sincerely nice, not some act because you can't fake being that nice for years at a time if it's not real.
I have no problem being rude to the loud obnoxious christian guy on the zeil cuy he's just annoying...(I think I made a comment about his mom last time I walked by and had to listen to him)...but I somehow feel sorry for the mormons...go to a third world or backward country and you'll have better luck dude.
Why is it that some people "need" a cause in life. This cause needn't even make them "happy", but I think lots of people seem empty without a reason...religion, fascism, environmentalism, sports, work, children, sex, love, stamp collecting, pacifism, the rest of us are nihlists I guess (or we don't recognize that we have a cause or what it is).
BUSH: I'm an optimist because I believe that I'm right. I'm a person at peace with myself.
"We Are Nowhere, And It's Now"
(feat. Emmylou Harris)
Why do you drink it until you’re blind?
And if you swear that there’s no truth and who cares
How come you say it like you’re right?
Why are you scared to dream of god
When it’s salvation that you want?
You see stars that clear have been dead for years
But the idea just lives on
In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we’ve been in between the past and future town
We are nowhere, and it’s now
We are nowhere, and it’s now
You took a ten-minute dream in the passengers seat
While the world it was flying by
I haven’t been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime
I’ve been sleeping so strange at night
Side effects they don’t advertise
I’ve been sleeping so strange
With a head full of pesticide
I got no plans and too much time
I feel too restless to unwind
I’m always lost in thought
As I walk a block to my favourite neon sign
Where the waitress looks concerned
But she never says a word
Just turns the jukebox on
And we hum along
And I smile back at her
And my friend comes after work
When the features start to blur
She says these bars are filled with things that kill
And you probably should have learned
Did you forget that yellow bird?
How could you forget your yellow bird?
She took a small silver wreathe and pinned it onto me
She said this one will bring you love
I don’t know if it’s true but I keep it for good luck
edited slightly be me.
as a result of Sorrow's tricking him he would come down very hard on belief of any kind. He would become a greater fatalist then Iowa Bob, he would become a greater non-believer than Franny or me. A near-violent atheist Frank would turn to believing only in Fate - in random sorrow or random doom, in arbitrary slapstick and arbitrary sorrow. He would become a preacher against every bill of goods anyone ever sold: from politics to morality, Frank was always for the opposition. By which Frank meant the opposing forces.
but what exactly do those forces oppose?
Just oppose every prediction. Anything anyones for, be against it. Anything anybodys against be for it. You get on a plane and it doesn't crash, that means you got on the right plane. That's all it means.
Frank went even further away - somewhere- he went into a religion more vastly lacking in seriousness than even the established religions. He joined a kind of anti-everything sect.
Or maybe frank founded it. Meaning nihlism, meaning anarchy, meaning trivial silliness and happiness in the face of gloom, meaning depression descending as regularly as night over the most mindless and joyful of days. Frank believed in zap! he believed in surprises. He was in constant attack and retreat, and he was equally, constantly, wide eyed and goofily stumbling about in the sudden sunlights -- tripping across the wasteland littered with bodies from the darkness of just a moment ago.
28,09,07
currently attempting to fix my page and stuff...slow updated lately...
so as I'm reorganizing I am wondering about my favourite japanese street performer in ffm.
I don't think I've seen him for a couple of months
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L5ZK8z7P9Wk
this one is great...close to my flat and note that once he starts soloing he never goes back to the song...
we all know this song, yet I have no idea what he's singing...
note the man in fishnets walking by from right to left about 30 seconds in and the old man in the blue shirt and hat who probably is muttering to himself...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FK6-Fx39te8
this one's harder...I don't know what song this is.
why is my spell check all of the sudden in Deutsch....this won't be good for mein page....
26,09,07
cheers matt for inventing the world poo tour...can't wait to hear about the magnificent guiness poos that you're going to take at Kat's.
25,09,07
some random girl read this
page and said I have nice cheekbones...psshaaaaaawww.
24,09,07
If I'm brain dead or something can
they split my organs in two and use them for two midgets instead of
one tallish person?
I guess I should give my
impressions of france...
all stereotypes seem wrong and it makes me angry....
people bathe.
not everyone was smoking.
there were no junky poets by the river
there were americans
people spoke english to me
the food was pretty, yet delicious.
there is free garbage service for everyone...
the prices were not fixed as I was expecting for a communist country.
those capitalist swine insisted on charging me 6€ for a canned
Bulmers....
I saw no mimes
Marcel Marceau is dead...I didn't even know he was sick....I didn't even know he was alive...I've never heard of Marcel Marceau...
my mom says I have high cheekbones...
23,09,07
some kid in france with a
skateboard said Merc (mersss) to me...it's like when the germans say
tschü instead of tschüss...this is my green light to start using
"au"
see this page for explanation
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=audi+5000
watched the whales v. Japan rugby
game...before the game I thought whales were intelligent creatues
that should be appreciated and valued, but after the game I think
they should be destroyed by any means necessary...even it means
eating them....viva japan!!!!!
oh wales....heh......nevermind....
SO back from bordeaux...had a great time...will put most of the pics on thier own page....but here's a few...
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http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/France
please read the uncylopedia
page on france.... :)
500 emails since Wednesday evening and only 4 were from people I actually knew...about 6 were legitimate spam that I agreed to and the rest were actual spam...this is crazy.....
Which is the more unflattering uniform on women....scrubs or stewardess uniforms...discuss....
So when you're asked to fight a war that's over
nothing
You know it's best to join the side that's gonna win
(Bright Eyes
18,09,07
Saw an old guy crossing the tracks
today and I thought....gawd...it's a young bob hope...then I had to
wonder what I meant by that....at what age did bob hope become old?
At what age could he still get his same old punchlines out
about half the time....
this isn't funny...i bet noone in germany even knows who bob hope is....
oh yeah...there's nothing funny on this page...dammit!!!!!
Off to bordeaux tomorrow...no email til Sunday....I can talk all the crap I want about the French right...they won't fight back....
17,07,07
Finally got a haircut today...turned
into kind of a surreal experience...
me - walking down the street sees a hair cut place with two bored
women in the door :sprechen sie englisch?
two confused hair cutters - looking at each other and making faces :
nnnnnn......
me: no matter...kannen sie schnitt? (yeah I have no idea if that's
correct, but at least I'm making an effort right?)
them: ja ja
so i go sit down after one of them takes my rucksack
I'm getting my haircut and about 2 minutes in the one not cutting my
hair...gets all excited and says :Jeppesen
followed by a bunch of words I didn't know...I finally figured out
she asks if I'm working for Jeppesen...I say yes and she is now
breaking into english apparently trying to tell me that they had 5
men in for haircuts that worked for Jeppesen....
me: neat-o
the one not cutting my hair: wo bist du...amerikana....amerikanish?
me: ja amerikanish
the one not cutting my hair: arabish?
(Do I look arabish???)
me - wtf!!!!: nay.....my grandparents are english.
unintelligible german conversation...the one cutting my hair
translated something about gröss mutter or something...I assume
that's something to do with my old nan...
at this point the one not cutting my hair went and got me some water....
the one cutting my hair seemed to slow down and start to really try
to do a good job.
good grief people....
qeustions about my deutsch and stuff...I think I got uncomfortable
at some point.
when she finished I got up to pay and my backpack which was being
babysit by the other one was held out for me...I went to grab it,
and she wouldn't let me have it but instead was holding it like it
was a coat I needed help with putting on....I was confused for a
moment, but let her put it on me...
then she gave me a card and wrote Kati on the card and pointed at
the one who cut my hair....der ist kati...
Now I know my stories aren't ever that good and this one has to be one of the worst, but it somehow made me laugh....
Saturday had a lovely dinner with Matt, Kat, Cordelia, Azerbajan and Luca. Luca can cook...
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16,09,07
so forget the pirate ninja
question...the new question is who would you rather go on a road
trip with...yoda or chewbacca....
My answer is chewbacca...cuz really if you're at bar and talking
crap I would think you want Chewbacca on your side rather than yoda...who's
more likely to want to "burn this mother down"...we all know the
answer to that one...
the family has apparently commited
to a road trip to roma, azyerbajan, america and North Korea....Not
sure yet if that's all one trip or not...
no word yet on how to spell azerbaijan...yeah I know...
14,09,07
Aussie karen once said "american
roads are second to none"...at first I was thinking how I had to
laugh at her statement...then I started thinking that only old
people would use the phrase "second to none"...
didn't she live in Denver...everyone I know from Denver (cept for
company people) are jerks....2,0.....
what is the § symol on my deutsch keyboard...I don't think i've ever seen that symbol before...someone please tell me what it is...
la la la la
la la la li
all of god's children they all have to die
(nick cave)
13,09,07
I can always tell what kind of day
it was by what percentage of chess games I beat the computer at...normally
it's about 60% of the time I win...tonight I've lost 5 games in a
row....I havn't won yet....must've been a great day!
I quit.
11,09,07
it might be a bit sad to think that all I'll probably ever accomplish in life is to help an old lady across the street or make a stupid joke that makes someone laugh...then I think...Oh yeah...existentialism rocks!!! and all of the sudden birds are singing and clowns are juggling midget poo...
Dinner with colleagues tonight
Tina: I told Veronique that you were taking a language class
veronique: oh he must have met someone
as if...we all know germans are all communists that hate americans....
no gray hairs for a week at least!!!!
10.09.07
Saw broken Flowers this wekeend
my summary
of every jim jarmousch movie I've seen
man has crisis
man is confused by crisis
Man goes on journey
nothing happens (series of semi random events)
Man is confused by semi random events
movie ends
audience is confused by movie.
it's kind of like this page...
This guys an idiot, but it's about
Portland...jerks...
http://www.slate.com/id/2173729/
09.09.07
the greatest thing about a german keyboard is that I can make a smiley face with just one key ö
If only I could make an effort to
do ascii art...then I would truly be cool...
or just call me Jöse, cuz that would make me cool too.
text conversation tonight:
Squires 2.0: I just got you a ticket for the concert in Nachleben on
sunday night, got matt one too, you are a jerk btw.
Me: Why am I a jerk...jerk...
2.0: cause u just are. aren't we all jerks, just as we're all actors
on a stage right? or maybe were all dead jerks jerking around and...dying
me:I thought I was about to be stimulated then i realized I was
bored...shiny red ball. what were we talking about. how's ur mom...ooh
I can spell mom with one key.
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08.09.07
so tonight I was attempting to write a song called
"have I told you lately that I loved you..."
then the only rhyme I could come up with was Poo...
then I realized Rod Stewart was a jerk....
and in the end nothing
happened.
07.09.07
Is it really September?
apparently I tried to make up a new word today Ubertag....
fine....
ubermorgen oda uber ubermorgen oda uber uber uber morgen is OK, but
ubertag is not......phhhhhhtttttt
since I believe everything I'm told here's what I
learned this week:
The french are all communists. big bird is their president and
George bush is the greatest president of the US so far. however
Hillary Clinton is the reincarnation of jesus and no doubt jesus
will make a better president than GW Bush...anyone who does not
agree with me is an idiot and I don't want to talk to you.
Phong: "my friends pooing!" (comment made to stranger in the bathroom)
Phil: "The English are effeminate by nature"
Here's a couple pics from the Eintracht football game...
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Is it May yet?
I'm going to France in a week and a half!!!
The US apparenlty has a rugby team...huh....they
play eng u lund today in the rugby world cup....huh!!!!
Squires 2.0: America can burn in hell, but I feel that the rugby
team really needs our support.
well said mate...lets put on our well hidden american flag shirts
and go be boisterous in our support of the US Rugby team....what
could possibly go wrong?
I got a language lesson at Starbucks...it's like
they're tired of me speaking english to them...haarrrummmpphhhh.
and for anyone that cares yes I will be starting a deutsch class
next month...so excited...
another word I learned this week...mist....makes me think of gorillas in the mist...which makes me think of gorillas that throw poo...which makes me think of Bandon...which makes me think of Coos bay...which makes me want to see the Ocean...
04.09.07
yeah it's been a while...didn't have internet at home for a few weeks. Unfortunately I have nothing exciting to share.
the eintracht football game was fun. It wasn't as boring as I was told it would be...
Liverpool won 6-0 last weekend.
I have a vote for the new dad...at least the best cantidate so far...
two gallants are the best band I've heard in a while...Listened to one of thier albums 4 times in one day...that's how I know a band is good.
Sanne has gone to France. :(((((( look at my sad face...however I checked flights tonight and the're much cheaper than expected...
what's the deal with people who stand in front of the tram doors ready to get on who don't even bother to look and see if anyone is getting off...is it so hard to look through the door and see if there's anyone ready to get off...think about something besdies yourselves you jerks!!!!
19.08.07
I keep hearing about people besides my mom who
actually read this page....stuff like
Hi. you're Joe. I've seen your page.
Hello to everyone i don't know who (or do know) reads this...Seriously shouldn't you be doing something better with your life right at this moment?
Am going to a Frankfurt football game next Sunday. Florian tried to teach me some Eintracht songs last night...Yeah...I don't remember. it was the red light of the street sign and the Deutsch that keeps me from remembering...I guess there are MP3's and such on the way.
Florian (who's nickname I can't recall) also wanted to dazzle me with his knowledge of the Portland trailblazers....cheers mate for the memories...see you Sunday.
I'm using a deutsch keyboard sö I
can eäsily make ümläüts and saz tchuß, but I would zou like to go to
the yoo?
It took me 3 minutes to find the question mark for that line...
as Orville said to Wilbur, You're right!!!
Dylan wrote death is not the end...Not Nick Cave as previously reported...
Love is not a victory march
...It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
OK so it really was a couple weeks since a real entry...I'm trying to recall the last week
Tuesday night was a laundromat party...went to a laundromat and hung out with food and drink and friends. Someone saw a couch on the sidewalk about 30 miles away from the laundromat so I volunteered (got volunteered :) ) to carry half the couch for 33 miles. My arms were sore for 2 days -sidebar- one of my favorite things about germany is that when people move out of apartments and stuff gets left behind all the stuff gets thrown out onto the sidewalk. people go through the junk immediately and it seems you can often find cool stuff -end sidebar-...I think I was crying at the end...had a käse kabob...-sidebar- I don't think I ever had a döner kabob in the states, but I've had a few here and love them...more stuff I missed in the states. -end- this one had cheese on it...mmmmm.
the rest of the week I don't
recall but for Friday night and Squires 1.0, 2.0, Sanne, Matt, and
Cordelia all came over to watch Spinal tap (this is)- 2.0 got a bit
excited (hang on I'll get you a towel) on my balcony. He attempted
to share his knowledge of the history of paulsplatz. Matt and I
quckly got bored and decided to talk about anything else...
I think anarchy ensued with throwing of bouncy balls,
transformer toys from BK, and some rubber bits being thrown off of
said balcony...THEN Sanne and I said goodbye to Corinna at a
pub (where I watched a World Cup game with Eng uh
lund in June 06). THEN we went with Corinna to the airport to say
bye for a few months as she's off to Spain for a year. Tears at the
airport..-depressing...Who flies at 4am...late night...tired all day....
Yesterday...slept, starbucks, shopped, errand, lunch at macs, slept, starbucks, slept, went to the Elver for a few drinks with people.
Today it's a bit of footy at the fox. Ma'am U has already wasted thier season, so the game today between Liverpool (give us little timmy you prick) and Chelski will decide the league no doubt (unless chelski somehow cheats thier way to victory in which case I'll have to bring up the Africa cup and didier). Apparently half the people I know are going to show up for the games...
anyone want to go bowling afterwards?
stopping now I think......
16.08.07
Uhhh so it's been a few years since I updated. I'm using a Deutsch keyboard so life is difficult at the moment.
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5.08.07
So dad's back from Singapore for the week. It was another good bye party every single night...
these pics are from the MainFest last night...
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03.08.07
http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/archive/2007-07-25--pirates-vs-ninjas/pages/2007-07-25--pirates-vs-ninjas-01.html
just click on the pics to move forward..
Cheers Phil for this one....
My favorite is the bum holding the sign...
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30.07.07
So I've been in Germany for a year...I think the last two weeks are probably the best two weeks I've had.
So went to somewhere in "the free state of"
Bavaria - south of München (Munich) At one point I may have
crossed into Austria as I got a welcome message from T-mobile
about roaming in Austria...No clue if the message was in German
or Austrian.....in fact I don't even know if Austrian is it's
own language...apparently Bavarian is it's own language because
I was told that in school if Bavarians have to learn a second
language it will be German.
we walked about 3 hours each way (uphill) to eat at a mountain
top imbiss and to get to talk to cows...
I still have no austrian stamp on my passport though...g'day mate...
So I will now test out my horrible memory...uhhh....ok pictures are worth a thousand words....
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next day?!?!? and some from Sunday in München...
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So one night in München and a crazy old lady who liked my smile apparently...Great trip...
favourite quote: "it's so ugly" (referring to München)
München is Munich (thanks Matt for clarifying this for me)...
25.07.07
am off to somewhere in Bavaria today...Kind of Nervous...
24.07.07
Old Photos from Mephisto...thanks Matt for taking 5 months...
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22.07.07
so from now on I want to be called Squires
1.0...Squires 2.0 might not be better, but he's at least younger
and speaks more Deutsch...that's 2 bug fixes if I ever saw
them...
So I have two twins now...one evil and one american...that makes
me the middle twin or something...
Though Squires 2.0 did say I was his soulmate...Dude you're from
Denver...take it back!!!
I know I know...websites like this suck...
I guess I have a lot to write about this week and weekend, but it will just sound pathetic....like my original unedited Thursday entry ;)
19.07.07
I am definitely a fan of lyrics and sometimes songs put you in a mood for no apparently reason (but usually there's a reason)...Today was one of those days... Songs about war and love (not in the same song) did this today...
Wil Smith is the white Ice Cube....
and for
Sanne...please watch this and note how I buggered up the story
once again ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG5UhbzJcic
16.07.07
I'm not sure if I said this and I can't be
bothered to read back, but the Polish people were fabulous and
so hospitable...Cheers to them!!!
other memories...
Shots for the Scorpios!!!!
me trying to convince the room (anyone within earshot) that a
kung fu/horror movie would be the greatest genre ever.
to a German the Polish equivalant of
"thank you for calling the 5 star Grand Hotel in Sopot. How may
I help you?"
Sounds something like:
"krzchssy grolck %$&""!???"
Sitting at the airport waiting for the
plane...
Fred K: Joe...Do you know what time it is..:
me - Looking around frantically for a clock:....uhhh...no
sorry....It's probably about 7:45
Fred K: No Joe...It's time to burn this mother down!!!
Geez Fred...I thought you were a suit ;)...apparently "let's burn this mother down" was the most memorable phrase from the week...I get credit...
after a Team building exercise where everyone
"cheated' we were asked to write down our thoughts....as the
pieces of papers were read this is basically how it went
...cheaters
...cheaters
...cheaters
...cheaters
...cheaters
...liars
...cheaters
...cheaters
ITALIANS!!!!
...cheaters
...cheaters
...cheaters
etc....I was the one who wrote italians....So proud....One of the Italians said "who wrote that" I said me and he came over and shook my hand...I like every Italian I've met so far...
Gdansk is a lovely city...I would certainly go back again...
So here's some pics...Many more coming in the
coming days...This is just a short placeholder.
and yeah I know I have the same expression in every shot that I
took myself...It's just slighlty emberassing to use a cell phone
to take pics of yourself...
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I'm going to put Poland on it's own page...tons more pics on the way....some of the above are low quality so that will be addressed as well I hope...
DONE!!! Click here for Poland 2007
15.07.07
I saw them 15 or 20 times :>)~~~~~~~~
it's too hot today...
14.07.07
Another late one after "the workshop"...Got another 4 hour night sleep last night and had an early morning flight... Nice to see that some people were still up at 5:45 when I had to go get a taxi...Yeah...I guess they know how to party in Polski/Polen/Polska or whatever they call it these days...
Thought I was going to go to bed early tonight, but as it's almost 2 I guess I've failed in that objective as well...Tired but don't want to sleep...
Pictures will follow I guess. They are to be collected from the americans, germans, polish, italians and Norwegians who were at the workshop.
I get asked regularly how often I
go back to the states or why I don't go visit the states...I guess
as the song says "I'm lonely but I ain't that lonely yet"...Was
never close to my family I guess...but I don't think my parents are
close to their families either...
I accepted when I left that there were certainly people that would
probably die before I got back for a visit...
since I've only been up because of
the music I've been listening to for the last 3+ hours and I just
heard this song I'm posting lyrics now...
this is from Floater (a Eugene band)...(btw Matt have you listened
to the floater album I gave you?). The live album sound mix is
horrible, but the live version is 11 minutes long and the album
version is only 9 and half minutes, so i can't post all lyrics of
this song, but the part that always struck me is this:
The young men came down, down to the river,
to wash their hands of the mud.
The young men came down, after the stoning,
to wash their hands of the blood.
See all the young men come down, down to the water,
to wash off the mud. To wash off the blood.
You just repeat what you said.
You mean what you say.
Young women came down, down to the river,
to wash their legs of the blood.
Young women came down, after the birthing,
to wash their legs of the blood.
I saw the women go down, down to the water,
to wash their legs of the blood.
The blood...the blood.
Repeat what you said.
You never mean what you say.
I just repeat what you said.
Keep still child.
I'm washing your insides away.
That's a good boy.
You know we love you
I always though it was interesting
that (to me) the point of the song is that men take life (or destroy
physically, emotionally etc) (the young men go down to wash their
hands of the blood) and that women give life (the women go down
after the birthing to wash their legs of the blood). Simplistic I
know, but that's what I do...
Also note to Matt....listen to the drums on "The Knowing
Dirge"
which leads me to another
thought...
Religion and war are really the only thing that every isolated
culture has in common...there seem to be some common evolutionary
need for people to have those two things...think europe, Africa,
Asia, Oceana the americas, etc...Are there other things that every
culture has in common besides those two things (and the basic will
to survive?)
and another thing....
I'm really tired of (americans) people citing a movie as something
"historical"...yeah it's great that you saw a movie based on
historical events (thirteen days - anything really) -, but "movies"
aren't real...even if they claim to be "based on actual events" or
even a "documentary"...really if you're interested in an event give
yourself some credibility by actually reading books of people who
were at those "actual events" even if those people's opinion of
events don't jive with whatever you've been told....also if you're
actually interested in said "historical event" please read more than
one book or person opinion of what happened. They won't agree...
and....
"the fog of war" was an excellent "documentary" which is largely
based on an interview(s) with Robert McNamara (bloody
irish-americans).
and other songs that affected me
tonight
Raconteurs - Blue Veins
White Stripes - Dead Leaves and dirty Ground
a million others, but I'm just tired now....
13.07.07
Last night went to a castle/resort thing...It was about an hour bus ride and out in the country...beautiful location. Beautiful building...We were serenaded by some traditional polish musicians. The group drank a LOT of wine (which I'm beginning to think is the real purpose of a "workshop"). So much wine in fact that people were singing on the bus on the trip back...and there was also some climbing into the luggage rack inside the bus (not involved).
anyways got to sit outside by
myself and just listen to the birds singing...was kind of strange to
be in such a peaceful place...I don't think I've been so far from a
city since I moved to Deutschland.
I said to one of the Polish guys that our hotel here is not really
Poland, but the place last night felt like Poland, but in reality
that was probably stupid because I don't think too many people live
in castles and wear traditional Polish clothes and sing...
Had eel for I think the first time ever...all the americans seemed disgusted by the thought of eating eel. I decided to try it (anything once...) and it actually wasn't bad...I don't think I'd ever order it cuz it was a bit strange, but I've had much worse food and I'm glad that's another food I can take off my list...
11.07.07
Uhhhh...so dinner at the Italian restuarant....We had a preprepared menu of either Cucumber soup or fish soup (appetizer)...I had the cucumber soup, but to me it was basically salad dressing with a bit of feta in the middle...it was actually OK...
Main course was either Beef Shoulder with some sort of noodle, or fish with some sort of noodle....Honeslty it wasn't very italian to me....I asked one of the polish guys if this was italian and he said no....So OK....it was Polish food at an italian restaurant......what a country!!!!!
Uhhhh...the coolest american I've met so far is a guy who's lived in Italia for the last 12 years or so...Good guy....
The Polish have invited me for a visit on holiday.....If they were american I wouldn't think they meant it, but I find that Europeans actually mean stuff like this when they say it....
A norwegian said to me that I looked English after I told him my grandparents were english...To me there is no "english" look, but OK. I'll accept it as a compliment....
I did get to sit next to important people at dinner...Tor from Norway is one cool dude even if he's the bossman of Norway C-Map. we were going to have some Irish whiskey, but the polish/Italian restaurant did not have any irish whiskey so we had to settle for wine...Tor Rocks!!!!
My foot has gigantic bruise on it, but a colleague will bring a screwdriver tomorrow so I shall try to fix my mess...
I know some of my german friends aren't fond of Italians, but I've met 4 italians and I think they are all cool, so I am dismissing the Germans opinions on this topic until I meet 5 italians that I find to be annoying...
11.07.07 part 2
So work is done for the day...afterwork meeting no longer necessary....so basically I'm killing time until 7 when we all meet for dinner...
Last night was dinner at a Chinese restaurant...It's the only chinese restaurant I've ever been to that did not have one single asian person working there...what's that about...It's like the Mexican restaurant in Lake Oswego that has no Mexicans working there...what's that about and what's that reference about...nobody is going to get that...
Lost my bouncy ball in the dark on the way home...
actually met an italian colleague who has seen the movie "Dead Man" with Depp and directed by Jim Jarmousch. Is Jarmousch a polish name....nah.....too many vowels....Also was talking to a british colleague who HAS NEVER SEEN Lock stock & two smoking barrels, Snatch, or Layer Cake....I will be loaning him the DVD's...I also think I have Dead Man on DVD in the states...one of these years I'm going to have stuff sent over...
The more languages I hear the more interesting languages are to me...I expected Polish to have some similarities with German, but it's nothing like Germany. Sounds like Russian to me, but one polish colleague says "we are slavic people"....
European history is really amazing...americans have no clue about this, but it's incredibly interesting...
11.07.07
Lunchtime at the hotel....Weather is finally lovely here...it had been raining since I got here...So we're in Sopot which I guess is on the bay not the Baltic...I should really look at a map....
Broke a mirror here last night...It also managed to land on my foot and my foot is swollen...I tried to hide the fact that I broke it, but not so well...I wonder if I have to pay...
Went "shopping" but there was nothing worth buying...will I get in trouble for returning without souvenirs?
After the days conference I have another meeting, and I have to go call a colleague in the office now...Why isn't this more like a vacation????
10.07.07
Wow...the bed at this hotel might possibly be the most comfortable bed I've ever been in in my life...Not the best nights sleep, but the best bed....Somehow managed to have a horrible nights sleep....So behind on sleep it's not even fair...
Went to C-Map Office...again I find some things about Poland to be strange...I've seen two KFC's. Maybe Colonel Sanders does put an addictive Chemical in his chicken...
and now from Airplane:
Roger Murdock: We have clearance,
Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?
---------------------------------------------------------
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
---------------------------------------------------------
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as
we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important
right now.
---------------------------------------------------------
Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
and now from Top Secret (sorry it's from IMDB and I can't be bothered to remove the links right now):
Hillary Flammond: My
uncle was born in America.
Nick Rivers:
Oh, really?
Hillary Flammond:
But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon
during the Jimmy Carter presidency.
[Doctor Flamond is
being rescued]
Doctor Flamond:
How ironic. Another day and I would have completed my tunnel.
Hillary Flammond: Only a year ago, I was teaching a course in black history at the University of Blaupunkt.
Hillary Flammond: I know a little German. He's sitting over there.
Deja Vu: Nigel, what
are you saying?
Nigel: How
do we know he's NOT Mel Torme?
Nick Rivers: Listen to
me Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that
he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a
kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she
last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years
later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary Flammond:
I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]
Hillary Flammond: People change, hairstyles change, interest rates fluctuate.
German teaching tape: Die Sauerkraut ist in mein Lederhosen.
[last lines]
Hillary Flammond:
And I'll miss you most of all scarecrow.
[the East German
national anthem]
All: Hail, hail East Germany / Land of fruit and grape / Land
where you'll regret / If you try to escape / No matter if you tunnel
under or take a running jump at the wall / Forget it, the guards
will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn't first.
Nick Rivers: Hillary.
That's an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond:
It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
Nick Rivers:
I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
Hillary Flammond:
Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers:
Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.
[Introducing his
men]
Du Quois:
This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu.
Deja Vu:
Haven't we met before?
Nick Rivers:
I don't think so.
Du Quois:
Over there, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.
Martin: Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm.
Hillary Flammond: Who
do you favor in the Virginia Slims tournament?
Blindman:
In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual.
Doctor Flamond: If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.
Blindman: What phony dog poo?
[on train at
checkpoint]
Nick Rivers:
Where are they taking him?
Colonel von Horst:
They are not taking him anywhere.
[gunshot is heard off screen]
General Streck, German High Command: ...And once again, Germany will be united under one rule - OURS. After Sunday, there will be no one to stop us.
Latrine, Resistance Member:
[throws dead carrier pigeon on table]
Latrine, Resistance
Member: We have a traitor in our midst.
Deja Vu:
Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him
appropriately.
Du Quois: [looks
at Deja Vu] Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on
its way to the German Headquarters.
Colonel von Horst: [reporting
on Nick's interrogation] They're still working on him. He won't
break. We've tried everything! Do you want me to bring out the Leroy
Nieman paintings?
General Streck,
German High Command: No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva
Convention!
General Streck, German High Command:
[talking on the phone] What is the condition of
Sergeant Kruger?
[pause]
General Streck,
German High Command: Very well, let me know if there is any
change in his condition.
[Hangs up]
General Streck,
German High Command: He's dead.
Du Quois: Nigel made me
go back to the meter shed. He ordered me to set off the alarms.
Deja Vu:
And what does he want us to do now?
Du Quois:
Nothing you numbskull, Nigel's the traitor!
Deja Vu:
Don't take it so hard Nick, life is filled with it's little
miseries, each of us in his own way must learn to deal with
adversity in a mature and adult fashion.
[Sneezes into hands screams, and jumps out a window]
09.07.07
OK...so am in Poland now...Not
quite sure what to make of it yet....
landed at the airport after some 11 year old girl on the plane
sitting next to me felt the need to tap my arm and insist that I
turn off the MP3 player during takeoff....she said something in
Polish and I said "English" and she said "sorry...would you mind
turning that off please" I was trying to nap at the time so I turned
it off cuz I didn't want a half grown woman to be crying on the
airplane...so I went back to sleeping, then five minutes later she
said "I think it's OK to turn it back on now". Geeezzzz.....a real
stickler for the rules...Actually I didn't mind...even though the
MP3 player had no wireless/Bluetooth/PCMCIA/G3 capabilities she
probably saved 93 lives today....Thanks!!!!
anyways....land at the Gdansk
airport and have to take a bus to the oh so impressive Terminal at
the Gdansk airport...Honestly it's about twice the size of the Salem
Airport Terminal...Which basically is big enough to hold 3 chairs
and 2 car rental agencies and toilets....and a hallway....anyways it
was small and the luggage claim area had ONE BAGGAGE
CAROUSEL.....Which was immediately past the passport control where
the chick had to say "what is your purpose" 3 times before I finally
understood her...the glass was kind of getting in the way from me
hearing...I had to put my ear up to the hole before I could hear
her....I said "business trip" and then she took an even closer look
at my passport and had to check EVERY SINGLE PAGE of it before she
finally let me in. Who knew the Poles were so picky....Also the
Polish stewardesses can't really speak english...I think I got every
4th word....Not that I blame them....I should speak Polish...It was
a Polish airline after all....
remember in the states how the "euro trash" (that's slang for
non-native americans since we're all just non-natives anyways)
complains about the Mexicans not speaking english....I never
complained about it...we stole half of Mexico anyways....jerks....
Then a car ride to the Finest Hotel in Poland...I'm glad they put us up in this posh place where we can really experience "Polish culture"....we drive through areas of nothing but graffiti and decrepit brick buildings and come to this Grand Hotel on the beach with a live Piano player in the bar....Yeah I'm supposed to think this is the "real Poland".
anyways....Colleagues pick us up
for dinner....Sales guy joins us....
I love Sales guys....After about 10 minutes I realize I really
really miss my life in Frankfurt....Dude is amusing really, but not
quite amusing as sitting in my flat watching Lords of War or Alien.
No really the guys were OK, but not quite as OK as "home"....
I love my job....really...I'm so grateful to have the chance to travel and live in Germany.
One of the guys say "I finally get to meet someone from Nobeltec". HA!!!! Nobeltec lives on....I'm so proud....
There was a book in the hotel of Gdansk (not sure of the language) ...It's actually quite nice...If only I had a coffee table to put it on....I'm not sure I'm going to get the time to shop or do anything extracurricular this week. which really sucks....
anyways....I really should buy a camera someday....My phone camera just doesn't cut it and I'm dumb for not thinking of this last week.
I might take a bath for probably the second time this year....
Free Internet in the hotel....This place is really posh....
so in the end of "lord of war"
there was a message (oh great...a movie with a message) it said
something like
"the five biggest exporters of arms in the world are the US, UK,
Russia, France and China..."
My comment was something along the lines of "Fucking French...."
yeah...I still think it's funny....I occasionally act american just
to confuse people...
08.07.07
In Poland starting tomorrow til Saturday...may not have email all week....
Johnny Marr has that "G.E. Smith Poseur guitar god wanne be" quality that we all love so much...
Fart once for yes and twice for no....
Watched Lords of War. Had it's
moments, but really it could have been so much better....it was sort
of everything that was wrong with a big hollywood movie...
Every actor gets a speech....OH SO DRAMATIC...
the death scenes were way overdone and fake...
e.g. Someone gets shot in a tent....The camera is showing one side
of the tent and you hear gunshots (on the other side of the
tent)...blood splatters on the inside of the tent....FOLLOWED BY
SOMEONES HAND BEING EXTENDED ONTO THE INSIDE OF THE TENT AND
SMEARING THROUGH THE BLOOD....Ok So they showed this to some
hollywood execs and they said...Yeah I see that there's blood on the
tent, but it's just not dramatic enough...How DO i know that someone
relaly died....No bullet holes came thorugh the other side of the
tent....GOOD GOD PEOPLE!!!!! Hollywood movies suckkkkkkk....As if
Hollywood execs/produces/script tinkers have seen people being
shot.....
another example was when Jared Leto
got shot....He blew up a truck full of ammunition with a
grenade...Followed by running....One guy pull out his AK and shot
Jared Leto....They cut TWICE to two other guys firing thier
AK's at him....He falls down and it takes him 14 minutes to
die....OK...You just got shot 99 times and magically nothing hit you
in your face (Can you just hear the director saying..."NOT IN THE
FACE". He's a star....
anyways....You suck hollywood....It wasn't a bad movie, but when you
put crappy moments in a movie it sort of ruins it for me.....You
would have been better off having the microphone dip into the
picture you jerks....
I'm also pissed at T-Mobile this week.....
I also have to speak at the Poland workshop....Good thing I have a plan involving crying, puking, and walking in dog crap....Do you smell something?!?!
I also need to iron and pack today....
I'm also excited cuz I was promised Joey's...I haven't had pizza in weeks.....I miss Joey's.....I also get great service cuz they know the American tips...
So Sanne says she doesn't get half my blog...Yeah if you don't get half of it I have to feel sorry for my mom......She probably doens't get any of it...If only I could speak in complete sentences....Being an only child I only ever manage to come up with one liners....I don't do conversation....
and since I'm thinking about it....I think the only character trait I got from my mother is our shared inability to tell a story in a clear concise manner....Every sentence requires some sort of sidebar which the person you're telling the store to has no interest in....Doesn't matter it's my damn story I'll tell it however I want....
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06.07.07
When the ship comes in....Bob
Dylan...
playing now.....wow!!!!! Haven't heard this in a while....
On my way home from Starbucks a minute ago I stopped at the bookstore below my flat for two kids books....The girl who took my money didn't say a word to me, but was smirking the whole time...It's like she knew I wasn't German...was it the Bulmers shirt????
Random pics from the past few weeks....Cheers Matt....
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05.07.07
So I guess the week's been
eventful...Dad left for Singapore on Tuesday night...so following
the other 9 "good Bye parties" we had one more at the
airport....Drinking at the airport is cool....At least it's better
when you aren't flying I guess...
NOT...
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The old man liked to gamble on anything that was on TV...I usually won....
I'll take the Yellow dog on the
outside....he's got some extra foam in his Mouth...
I'll take the Bull in 3 seconds....He looks angry.....
I'll take the Yamaha in lane 3...that dude has lots of stickers on
his helmet....
I'll take the fat guy.....
SHOTS....ON THE HOUSE EVERY HOUR!!!!
Speaking of good bye's what is it with Kat and her "so and so is going to -insert some city somewhere- for a day. We need to get together to say good bye". Any excuse for a party kat?
Not drinking at the airport is not cool......NOT!!!!!
speaking of which I'm going to Poland on Monday. Let's have a going away party someone...j/k.
anyways Last night (Wed) was Modest
Mouse...this was a show that was rescheduled from last June. Met at
a pub to kill time then waded into the crowd at Batchkapp (can't be
arsed to look up the spelling). Full house...
Note...I just reread the first line of this paragraph....why did I
say "last June"....uhhhhhhhh
Anyways...I thought it was a good show...sound wasn't quite as good as at Southside, but to be expected I guess....Seeing MM at Southside changed my mind about "two drummers playing the same thing" I think they have a big drum sound live...awesome...and trumpet....not enough bands with trumpets....and there was cowbell from time to time....
My calls for "Thriller" and "Who the **** is Alice" went unheeded....however by the third time I was calling for Alice I was not alone....
Why is it that I now have to next through 10 songs on my PC before I find one that is listenable...geez...
As Phong would say 'Even God hates Creed'
I'd like to add that in the 18 minutes since I started writing this I've had to say No thanks to Michael Jackson, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Oasis and probably some other crap.
02.07.07
I think I may have seen Ronald McDonald trying to be surly today...unfortunately Ronald McDonald was about 9 years old and his head (with the finest Fro in Europe) probably weighed as much as the rest of his body. Some car cut him close in the crosswalk (the drive was probably scared for his life because a huge orange ball was about to walk in front of his car, causing who knows what kind of damage)...anyways Ronald apparently tried to flip the car off and stare car down, but it all ended up to be a half heartened attempt....I felt sorry for the kid....
Did someone just defend the Stone Temple Puppets by talking about "how many number ones they had". This somehow ties into the Lionel Ritchie song that you had hidden on my external drive....mate...I had to listen to "hello" today cuz I couldn't be arsed to get up and change it....it was like being at the Dentist...
You also have Creed? Defend that one please....no really....go on.....
01.07.07
Having one last weekend with Dad at
"The Irish Pub Bornheim" worst name for an irish pub ever!!!
anyways...we still go there....
Four Bulmers gets you a free t shirt...I somehow managed to get 3
free t shirts this weekend...some of the waitresses are willing to
bend the rules a bit...
Dad's still a jerk for leaving us....we will still miss his sorry ass....
Lunchtime today:
So matt's text was something along the lines of "they're blowing up
Scotland"
dad, Kat and I happened to be together so we all got the text at the
same time...
Squires: uhhhhh...this is old news...
kat: Yeah Matt doesn't read the news
Squires: Uhhh lets send matt a text with news....
Kat: Let's all send him texts....
Ok, so we did....
First round
Kat: Kim John Il has nuclear
weapons
Squires Abe Lincoln has been assassinated
Dad: Joan of Arc has been burned at the stake....
We got no response, so we waited ten minutes, then decided we needed to send two texts each....
Dad: Queen Elizabeth has given
birth to a son named Charles
Squires: Chelsea Wins the premiership
Kat: hitler annexed Austria
then another
Dad: (OK I don't remember this one,
but I'll find out...)
squires: England has won the World Cup
Kat: Marie Antoinette was beheaded...
Matt still hasn't responded....He's obviously spinning with all the news we just gave him....Who says Aussies are too easy going....read the bloody news mate...John HOward is your PM....at least I know that much....
Spent time today listening to new (to me) Music....Lali Puna and the Cooper Temple Clause....both quality....thanks to whoever gave them to me (I'm guessing Sanne). Also listening to Floaters Live at the Alladin (Sanne again - how did I get music of a Portland band from a German???)....Not sure why I didn't bring any floater CD's or MP3's with me...that was dumb....Lots of music I didn't bring but should have....idiot!!!!
30.06.07
People keep telling me I seem happy lately...I am.
I always knew that Elliot Gould was somehow an evil Giant.
My mom is finally on board with my "I need drums" theory....if only I was 7 years old again...Too late for me now...
OMG!!!!! The Ace of Spades.....go
Lemmy.....
Somehow managed to find a US/Euro adapter so I plugged in my
external drive and it has loads of music that is absolute
CRAP....However I'm still listening to the song....Thanks Matt for
giving me about 3 motorhead albums.........
Yeah....today I moved all my music files around onto one drive and
tomorrow I guess I start deleting some of this stuff........
STONE TEMPLE TOILETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MATE
what is wrong with you????
and for anyone who had to see Die
Hard 4.0 on opening night ;) (Sanne):
http://www.slate.com/id/2168927/
In Deutsch the adverts say yippie-ya-yeah
Schweinebacke....I'm told that schweinbacke is Pig cheek...
The spectacle that is "Joe walking into Starbucks" is quite amusing...I wish everyone could see it. At least they know my name and insist on making a scene to try to please the american...being popular is really a pain...
and since the Ninja vs. Pirate
question just won't die
http://www.slate.com/id/2168936/
All you need to know is that ninjas can totally kill you without even thinking about it. In fact, ninjas are so lethal that it takes an enormous effort of will for them not to kill you. You are only alive because a ninja is trying very hard not to shoot a blow dart through your neck right this minute. Ninjas are being kind to us and yet we haven't returned the favor. Even so, ninjas have stealthily taken over the planet in the last few years and no one over 30 saw it coming.
I wasn't going to paste any more of the article, but I kept reading and this is funny
The Israeli affinity for ninjas makes sense when you consider that ninjas are basically supercool Jews. Both practice esoteric traditions that must be kept pure or they'll lose their power, both wear black outfits, and both can destroy much larger and more numerous opponents. The main difference is that while observant Jews spend a lot of time praying, observant ninjas spend a lot of time hiding and killing people.
wow...OK I admit that I'm probably the only one reading this who thinks this is funny but...
...the '80s was the decade when the ninja entered the homes of most Americans under 12. The GI Joe character and popular toy Snake Eyes was originally a commando but was quickly rebranded as a ninja when Hasbro realized that this would increase his awesomeness by 40 percent.
we all know if something is on Slate.com it must be true...
apparently there's someone in Frankfurt who has been dubbed Squires 2.0 because he keeps cutting my grass...jerk....You're just my twinkie....
Cheers to Matt for playing mom on Friday night...
26.06.07
modest mouse and nick cave
lyrics....read them and tell me how they possibly fit those into a
melodic song let alone something catchy...
Carl is fearful for his life....look what happened to Ernie....
Will I remember what random statements like that mean if I read them
in a week or two??? Probably not...
(So Johnny Depp walks into a bar)
music festivals are about neither camping (which I like) nor about
music (which i love) They are more about "Deine Mutter is so fat"
jokes and playing music at the campsite 24 hours a day. Amazing how
one person can take a mediocre experience and turn it into something
better than great.
(and he sees a midget, the pope and the queen)
On the agenda of the workshop in Poland it actually says
"08:05 – 09:20 Relationship Building"
I guess this is so we can all be friends before we start finger
pointing and stuff...
(no wait a minute....did I mention that it's about the year 1890?)
I saw a German man buying a magazine called traktor...yes
folks....they actually make a magazine for tractor lovers in
Germany...
(...anyways...he walks up to the pope...oh wait...did I mention he
has a blue horse...that's important...and the horse is tied up
outside the saloon...which is called Maggies Saloon anyways....where
was I?)
Jethro Tull is playing "Night of the Prog 2" somewhere near
Frankfurt...Didn't get a chance to take a picture of the poster cuz
I was on the strassenbahn.
(The midget shoots the queen, strangles the pope... and
says.........................................................................uhhh
crap....)
Can someone make my fingers stop smelling like Garlic....
(..........Oh wait.....wait a minute...waitaminute....WAIT A
MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I've had two actual homecooked meals in the past week....what's that
about....I think I've had two the whole rest of the time I've been
in Germany - food only from a frying pan or a pub doesn't count.
(It was something about blue horses, midgets or Crispin Glover....I
can't remember now)
I made the comment Thursday night that it doesn't really rain in
Germany (comparing here to Oregon). Well it finally rained in
Germany...on Thursday and Friday...I'm not so fond of mud anymore...
(oh bother!!!)
A german just told me I really do look younger with a full head of
hair...
(so Crispin Glover is covered in Coal and says something about not
taking a job or something...)
Giving the finger to someone in Germany, no
matter how badly they may
deserve it, is a gesture best avoided. Unless, of course, you want
to dish
out a hefty fine and possibly spend two years in a German prison.
Section
185 of the German Criminal Code makes it illegal to insult another
individual. The German Supreme Court defines insult as
"intentionally
attacking the honor of another person by communicating disrespect."
While
most criminal cases involving Section 185 are dismissed before ever
going to
trial, monetary compensation awarded to defendants in cases that do,
typically amounts to about 1000 euros, but could be much more
depending upon
the severity of the infraction.
So now that my (real) dad reminded me that honest blogs are bad I realize I've insulted americans, germans, white people, teachers, Ümlåùts, Candians, Mexicans, Saffas, Brits, religion in General, my friends, my family, mustard, red, coultard, the real mr ahmenajad, people who think timmy crouch is a donkey, and probably more, but I can't be arsed to read back any further in my blog. I stand by whatever I said....you're all jerks!!! ;)
oh and Italians....
(Crispin Glover played Marty
McFly's dad in back to the future, but he's actually 3 years younger
than Michael j Fox)
sometimes I really need a
midget stenographer...
SO dad (pops) is leaving Frankfurt on July 3rd....(jerk) going to Asia somewhere. He will be missed, but of course he had a good bye party we will all remember....I will surely miss him...unfortunately I just can't express myself so I'll just say again...I will surely miss him....
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Weird...I'm not even a real CCR fan, but you'd think so from reading this page...more lyrics from CCR.
Creedence Lyrics: Someday Never Comes
First thing I remember was askin' papa, "Why?",
For there were many things I didn't know.
And Daddy always smiled; took me by the hand,
Sayin', "Someday you'll understand."
CHORUS:
Well, I'm here to tell you now each and ev'ry mother's son
You better learn it fast; you better learn it young,
'Cause, "Someday" Never Comes."
Well, time and tears went by and I collected dust,
For there were many things I didn't know.
When Daddy went away, he said, "Try to be a man,
And, Someday you'll understand."
CHORUS
And then, one day in April, I wasn't even there,
For there were many things I didn't know.
A son was born to me; Mama held his hand,
Sayin' "Someday you'll understand."
CHORUS
Think it was September, the year I went away,
For there were many things I didn't know.
And I still see him standing, try'n' to be a man;
I said, "Someday you'll understand."
21.06.07
So this week is some festival at Alte Oper. Last weekend it was the Bierfest...the week before that the WeinFest, before that the Strassen Fest, and before that the Aussie street fest....Yeah...I expect this will continue all summer....it's basically like the Bite of Salem every week here....Good grief...I love this city...
So yesterday I got a call from HR because my work permit had expired the day before and HR didn't have a copy of the new one...They said I couldn't work until they had it so I got to go home in the morning and bring them some papers...Of course I took the opportunity to stop at Starbucks for the second time in 4 hours...
Some kid puked on the strassenbahn (streetcar). Is it strassenbahn or schnellenbahn????
Convo with kat:
Squires: I had 7 shots of
coffee and 4 red bulls today
Kat: that's not healthy...
squires: Healthier than 10
beers kat
Kat: No, I bet it's worse
than that...
I actually
introduced myself as Squires last night. Everyone at work knows me
as Joe, but outside of work it's always Squires...For the past few
months people called me squires and I would still introduce myself
as joe, but last night I actually was introduced to someone and I
said "Squires - nice to meet you".
I guess that means the fams wins....
20.06.07
He brought sexy back biaaaatch!!!!
Big Ben's going away party was Saturday night....Big Ben is from Liverpool and he was here for a 1 year study/internship thingy...I probably met him at a ma'amchester United game. A great lad. He will be missed. This is the bad thing about Ffm. People come and go.
I will write more about Ben later, but since xanga is down I can't steal anything from anyone at the moment...I'll upload this now, but the page will look much edited in the next day or two...
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16.06.07
"Hot Fuzz" is finally opening here...yay!!!! watch "Spaced" and "Shaun of the Dead" to appreciate this movie...actually I haven't even seen it yet....So I'll report later.
Another follow up conversation as recorded by Kat. If anyone actually read my version of this conversation it was about 1 sentence, but much more entertaining here...I do have to dispute that Dad came up with Jack the Ripper...that one was mine first. Keep reading for gloating below...
vladi asks us if we could come up with a black guy named "jack."
vladi: "i bet you can't think of a black guy named jack. there are NO black guys named jack."
squires: "jackie joyce kerner. jackie owens."
vladi: "that's jackie. not jack."
squires: "jack johnson."
vladi: "he's hawaiian."
dad: "jack the ripper. michael jackson."
me: "michael jackson's white."
dad: "oh yeah. you're right."
squires: "jack and the beanstalk."
dad: "who? oh yeah...the guy that climbed the beanstalk. who the **** (edited for the yanks-jjs) would do that?"
squires: "he traded in his cow for five beans."
me: "it wasn't a cow...!"
squires: "yeah it was. a cow. he took the cow to town."
me: (laughing) "he took the cow to town?"
squires: "he did. and he traded in the cow for five beans."
me: "they were three beans."
squires: "matt! jack and the beanstalk. he took the cow into town and traded in the cow for five beans."
matt: "yeah. for three beans."
me: "see? three beans, squires."
i have no idea why that conversation even progressed the way it did.
squires: "jack daniels."
dad: (laughing) "yeah."
uncle tony: "jack dempsey. the black boxer."
there you go. a black guy named jack.
Joe- NOW for a little gloating on my part...Jack Johnson was black and I came up with it. Here's his pic.
Jack Dempsey (uncle Tony's supposed right answer) is white (below - I wish I had hair like that dude) - I once uttered the phrase ' When I'm president I'm gonna kill whitey" AND "I'll celebrate thanksgiving when we move all the white people to North Dakota" AND "All white people to North Dakota please"...OK maybe I'm rambling at this point...
Also found this summary of a jack and the beanstalk movie on amazon.com...Please note people that in this version Jack traded 5 magic beans for is cow...However I do admit that the movie could quite possibly have changed the story at will.
JACK AND THE BEANSTALK is a fine installment in
the FAERIE TALE THEATRE series, though it's hardly one of the best.
Dennis Christopher leads the cast as the young lad with big dreams
and a handful of magic beans.
Jack (Dennis Christopher) lives with his loving-but frazzled mother
(SOAP's Katherine Helmond) in near poverty. The only thing left of
value for them to sell is Jack's beloved cow Spot. Reluctantly, Jack
sets off to market with the cow when he meets a strange old man who
offers him 5 magic beans in exchange for the animal.
When Jack returns home, his mother chides him for his foolishness
and the beans are tossed outside...where they sprout into an
enormous beanstalk that leads to a castle in the sky owned by an
evil Giant (Elliott Gould). Jack's adventures have only just begun!
Jean Stapleton and Mark Blankfield fill out the cast. Katherine
Helmond is wasted in the role of Jack's mother, though Jean
Stapleton makes the role of the disgruntled Giantess into a
scene-stealer. Jerry Hall briefly appears as the face inside the
magical harp.
I really don't care about being right or not, but I get no respect...:) No really I don't care about being right...really
CCR's "Long as I can see the light"
just came on and since this is going to be the longest blog entry
ever (because of me pasting stuff) I'm just going to put the lyrics
in...
Nor sure why but I've always loved this song...
Can anyone define what a home really is?
Put a candle in the window, cause I feel Ive got
to move.
Though Im going, going, Ill be coming home soon,
long as I can see the light.
Pack my bag and lets get movin, cause Im bound to drift a while.
When Im gone, gone, you dont have to worry long,
long as I can see the light.
Guess Ive got that old travlin bone, cause this feelin wont leave me
alone.
But I wont, wont be losin my way, no, no
long as I can see the light.
Yeah! yeah! yeah! oh, yeah!
Put a candle in the window, cause I feel Ive got to move.
Though Im going, going, Ill be coming home soon,
Long as I can see the light.
16.06.07
Things I said this week
I'm not fond of pickles.
Greenland is Iceland without bjork.
I know what you're thinking...it's
not funny...
I concur...
My mom asked what an unlaut is...I tried to explain it (with my very limited understanding), but I think this is better...
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Umlaut
Umlaut (also spelled as ümlaut, umläut, or ümläüt)
refers to a sound change in Germanic languages, including Norse that drives speakers of non-Germanic languages crazy. For example, goose sounds perfectly fine to a speaker of Japanese or Spanish, while geese drives him crazy. While on the contrary, speakers of Germanic languages already know that Japanese people are crazy. The umlaut was invented by Icelandic singer Björk in 1973.
Ümläüts äre mändätöry för üse in näming bäd heävy metäl bänds.
In the Germän längüäge there äre önly Ümläüts like: ä, ü, ö, Ä, Ü, Ö
Ümläüts äre älsö üsed äs ä förm öf resöürce in mäny äreäs, älthöügh möst äre böüght änd üsed by IKEA, whö is determined, in their qüest tö döminäte the wörld, tö cömmit ümläüticide. This is nöt prötested by änybödy, änd the ümläüt is cönsidered pöintless by everybödy except the Germäns whö reälly häve nö säy in any förm öf genöcide ät this pöint in time.
In 1920 Ottatörrk imporrted teh Ömlöut intö der türkish längüitch. Üt's üse üs mändatörry since thän.
The umlaut has been referred to as the "thinking laut"
The
physical manifestation of an umlaut .
OR
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Cml%C3%A4%C3%BC%E1%BA%97
Ümläüẗs ärë sẗrängë döẗs sömëẗïmës föünd flöäẗïng mÿsẗërïöüslÿ övër vöẅëls ön ẗḧë prïnẗëd pägë, änd älsö övër sömë cönsönänẗs ḧërë. Ïn cömmön ẅrïẗẗën Ënglïsḧ, ümläüẗs ärë öfẗën üsëd ẗö ädd än ëẍöẗïc förëïgn löök ẗö cömmön ẅörds änd pḧräsës, änd göürmëẗ rësẗäüränẗs öfẗën üsë ẗḧëm ïn ördër ẗö jüsẗïfÿ ḧïgḧër prïcës. (Ä lobster dinner, för ëẍämplë, mïgḧẗ cösẗ €̈24.00 äẗ ä dëcënẗ Bösẗön rësẗäüränẗ, büẗ ä löbsẗër dïnnër cän fëẗcḧ äẗ lëäsẗ €35.00).
ẗḧësë sẗrängë lëẗẗërs ärë älsö öfẗën üsëd ïn sẗrängë förëïgn längüägës. Gërmäns üsë thëm tö chängë vöwël söünds, whïlë spëäkërs öf Spänïsh üsë thëm to härdën thë G söünd, äs ïn pïngüïnö or vërgüënzä.
Öẗḧër üsës
Ïn ẗḧë müsïc ïndüsẗrÿ, ẗḧë prësëncë öf ümläüẗs ïn ẗḧë nämë öf ẗḧë bänd ïndïcäẗës ẗḧäẗ ẗḧë bänd spëcïälïzës ïn ḧëävÿ Mëẗäl ör pössїblÿ kїẗẗën hüffїng.
Ïn sömë pärẗs öf ẗḧë ẅörld, ẗḧë ümläüẗ ïs ä brëäkfäsẗ dïsḧ, mädë bÿ bëäẗïng ëggs övër cërẗäïn lëẗẗërs öf ẗḧë älpḧäbëẗ.
Ä clösë rëläẗïvë öf ẗḧë ümläüẗ (ẅïẗḧ än ëẍẗrä döẗ) ïs üsëd ïn Qüënÿä ẗö sïgnïfÿ ẗḧë prësëncë öf änÿ vöẅël ẗḧë ẅrïẗër cöüldn'ẗ bë böẗḧërëd ẗö ẅrïẗë.
Ün 1920 Öttatørrk impörrted tëh Ömlöit intö dër türkish längüitch. Üt's üse üs möndötörry since thän.
Ümîé
thè Ümlåùt sãýs, "Rêmèmbër kîds âlwäýs ûsé ÿõúr dïàcrítìcål mârks!"
gürsel nakliyat
12.06.07
My task this week is to learn to love the umlaut...I'm too hung up on wondering if I'm saying umlaud or umlaut to move on too loving it....At this point I don't really have any feelings for the umlaut...sort of like Jack the Ripper...I don't even know who that is...
It was weird to me when I moved here that you could drink beer on the street or on a bus, train etc....but now it would be weird going to the states and not having the option...nice country you people have over there...:)
I was informed that it's not
Fressegasse it's fressgasse....fress (= fressen = to eat/devour) and
fresse (= ugly face) - apparently a big difference...
more:
'fresse' is just a vulgar expression for 'unhandsome face'. great
word: hackfresse.
I can't wait to practice my german...
12.06.07
I'm single handedly maintaining the entire mosquito population of Germany...not even a thank you card from you pests...
11.06.07
On the escalator coming home I got
a "hello Mr american" from someone coming down the escalator as I
was going up....Took me a second, but at least I remembered your
name Irish Kevin...However I don't remember your girlfriends
name...I only know her as "Atlantic Ocean". Apparently her name is
Oceania, or atlania or something cryptic....We did only meet these
people last week at some winefest on the Fressegasse...we did put
out a sign that said "ich habe Hunger" (I have hunger) in front of
the dog that belonged to atlantic ocean...it was good for a few
laughs...
Anyways
Got asked tonight if I knew of any
black people named jack...I came up with Jackie Owens, Jackie
Robinson, Jackie Joyner Kersee, Jack Johnson (who I know is a boxer
((not the Hawaiian - geez)), but I honestly don't know if he's black
or white)....jack the ripper, Black Jack the pirate...
I was then told that Jackie doesn't count....as that isn't really
the same as Jack...
Uncle Tony came up with a legitimate answer...it was a boxer, and I
currently can't remember the answer...yet I still write this
page....
Then was asked if I know any black people named Vladimir....much harder question......
Why do I have the second finest collection of Burger King toys in Germany on my balcony....?!?!?
Had much more to write today, but it's all gone cuz I'm tired at the moment...
09.06.07
90% humidity is swell!!!
08.06.07
The zoo was cool. Words I already
knew or learned thanks to the zoo map
Elefant = Elephant
Elch = Elk
Flamingo = Flamingo
Emu = Emu
Shetlandpony = Shetland Pony
If I could to umlauts I could spell kangaroo in Deutsch, but I can't
so I won't
GERMAN IS EASY!!!!
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I played tisch football (foosball) for the second time since I've been in Germany and foosball is apparently the only thing I've ever excelled at in my life...The muscle memory is intact...SWEET!!!!
Modest Mouse was apparently
cancelled...
Everytime you think you're walking you're just moving around
Everytime you think you're talking you're just moving your mouth
Everytime you're looking you're just looking down
06.06.07
Tomorrow is a BBQ at some
zoo....logic being that people won't eat meat when we're at a
zoo....I guess we're all vegetarians tomorrow...
I am not scared of monkeys...I am not scared of monkeys...I am not
scared of monkeys....
Which reminds me of a poo
story....in Bandon (by the sea) there was a petting zoo with a
gorilla who liked to smoke...nevermind the morality of keeping a
500lb gorilla in a cage about half the size of my one room
flat....but he would occasionally throw his poo, and on a field trip
in the 4th grade he hit one of my teachers with some gorilla
poo....highlight of my 4th grade year....teacher screaming and
running into the gift shop cuz she had Gorilla poo in her hair....
score one for the gorilla....
05.06.07
SO apparently people besides my mom
read this from time to time...news to me (I don't even know anyone
named Corrinna nor do I know how to spell it).
apparently there is now pressure on me to be funny, clever, witty or
something...
This makes me uncomfortable...
Nothing happened today...blah blah...2 coffees, 3 energy drinks, 3 carrot juices and a sandwich.
Start your blog Saffa!!!
Eläkeläiset!!!! dazzling!!!! Thanks Sanne! First thing I listened to on your CD...can anything on the CD top this???
03.06.07
I have nothing to say at the moment so I give you canada from http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Canada
The world sees Canada as America's dorky half brother, (although Canada sees the USA as a retarded cousin.) Canada and the USA share a common mother, that being England, but while America's father was apparently Jesus, Canada's was France. While little brother Canada may not be able to throw the ball as far as its "cool" older half-brother America, Canada can at least find itself on a map (of course, Canada finds itself by locating the USA and going north, much like Mexicans find America by locating Mexico and going north).
02.06.07
So basically everyone I know has
left ffm. Matt, Benj, Vladdi, Phong and others are at some music
festival somewhere...Kat is over Russia on her way to a one day trip
to Korea....Arrive Saturday night....present stuff on Sunday....fly
home sunday night...Wow great business trip.
everyone left would be Dad, Saffa, Phil and Sanne. So everyone in
town met at the Saturday Konsti market for a beer or two. There was
actually a booth selling Mead (honey wine). I haven't had or seen
honey wine since I've left Salem (honeywood Winery) so of course I
bought a bottle. I haven't tried it yet, but give me a day or two.
So we took some pics since Sanne and I were both wearing some fine
fine hats (one of which came from the GDR - which I can only assume
means the German Democratic Republic...the former East Germany). I
also assume that since I'm speaking american not German that it
isn't really German Democratic Republic....only a silly yank would
think that....
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apparently the only good thing
about america is that they take the piss out of each other
regularly...Thanks to saffa for providing a stimulating analysis of
the former colonies...
I was about to make a comment about how crap cricket is, but then I
realized that it's still better than baseball....poo!!!!
I'm going to Poland in July...did I already mention this??? can't recall, but I'm excited to go to Gdansk (Danzig). Business trip/workshop....
31.05.07
Tomorrow June 1st....I was in Germany all last June so that's 11 of the last 12 months here....swell....I think I should have a one year party...or something....
white n nerdy just came on...."fluent in java script as well as Klingon"...."Only question I find hard is do I like Kirk or do I like Picard"
So Jeff (dad) had a small spill on
his bike last Friday night...It was a bit funny and is rather etched
in my head for some reason...so normally when dad rides his bike
it's like the scene from Butch Cassidy n the Sundance Kid. Large
high speed out of control circles (in the pedestrian areas....small
children and animals be damned...)
however after wine at Fressgasse, dinner at the Indian restaurant
with the saffas, sanne and I dad decided to see how slow one could
possibly ride a bike....the answer is something like 10 meters per
minute. Problems happen when dad panics because cars are driving up
behind him (dad decided to ride in the street)....when cars drive up
behind him dad panics and turns his wheel 90 degrees....at normal
speeds this might work, but at 10 meters per minute dad ends up
breaking his bike and falling all over himself....however since it
was only himself in jeopardy it seemed that noone was rushing to
help him....
luckily the car waited for him to limp his broken bike and himself
off to the side of the street.....we did minor surgery on the
sidewalk and now alles klaaar....
28.05.07
Got one text today with the words
"unfortunately", "admittedly" and "counterproductive"...someone's
thumbs have too much free time...
I now believe that counterproductive is probably the longest word I
know.
More random pics of my climbing on statues...someday I'll make a whole page of me climbing on statues for easy access
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28.05.07
So it's some religious holiday
today so Hessen is closed down. My building is empty. It seems the
whole inner city empties out on bank holidays.
luckily (***) over in the square there's some religious americans
singing...great...who's bright idea was it to spend money bringing
over americans to sing to the asian tourists in the square....money
well spent. Why don't you send them to Eng a lund or something...
Other things I learned this
week....
Hammocks rock!!!!
Little Timmy is the greatest player in Europe...and he's not a
donkey.
Italians only play football to dry their greasy hair.
24.05.07
Sometimes I think of things I need to write here and then when I'm here I can't remember them...so I started emailing myself random sentences from work so I could remember stuff later...unfortunately they don't make sense...kind of like the notes we make at the pub...
So here's some random statements I emailed myself this week. I think I was thinking that all I would need is one sentence and I could expound from memory, but it's probably just better if I do one sentence...
I like tomato and mozzerella
sandwiches now!
I'm forever living in the shadow of Chuck Norris...
modern management is nothing more than negotiating...
Asking a US Soldier how many civilians he's killed is a perfectly
legitimate question...
Sometimes I look like a dork
Sometimes I look so american
Actually those last two aren't mine, but I can conclude that I all the time look like a dorky american...
21.05.07
So as promised and because this page is really about as mundane as one could possibly be...
kohnlensaure....In the states noone
gets water with gas (bubbles) in it, but in Germany it's typical to
get water this way. This is because in Germany they don't give you
tap water, they only give you overpriced bubbly water which is what
everyone is used to. So at work we have a choice of plain filtered
water and bubbly filtered water, but right now the bubble maker is
empty or something, so when you try to get bubbly water it basically
comes out plain....Now that I'm used to bubbly water and prefer it
this really seems to piss me off that I have to drink plain water
now...apparently we have to call facilities or something to get new
gas for our water machine. However since I only know 5 words of
Deutsch (entlein, elche, kugelshreiber, heute, bier) I am unable to
communicate with the facilities man and will instead suffer in
silence....(side note...does complaining here count as suffering in
silence???)
I probably did not spell one of those words correctly...someone
please check my homework....
Indians (people from Indiana) HATE bubbled water (kohlensaure...oh that's 6 words) with a passion....we've had visitors from India and some colleagues in the office and they ALWAYS drink plain water...what's that about....If only I knew a way to piss of people from Indiana I would do it...just kidding...I have many friend form Indiana....Milind, Anuj....uhhhh........Essen.....
I think at some point today I
actually had something to say...but it's pretty much all gone
now...after sitting with Matt on the balcony all night my brain no
longer works...time for sleep.
why did we eat Burger King tonight....I wasn't even hungry....
20.05.07
So singer Phil says Matisyahu is ripping off Sublime. Phil also says it's OK to smoke someone elses half smoked cigar.
20.05.07
WHO RANG MY DOORBELL at 5:30 this morning???? I was already awake so it didn't matter, but I'm guessing some combination of Kat, Russian Vladdi, Cora, and Wil. Of course I ignored it and it went away...
Beautiful day today. Kind of humid
at the moment.
I love Sundays!!! no stress...No shopping...I like that the stores
are closed on Sundays. I don't even mind the church bells going off
at noon on Sundays...
18.05.07
What kind of idiot throws a banana
in their garbage can when they know they only take out trash once
every two months...
noone I know...
I feel vindicated...it's OK to wear a black shirt with brown pants...Just as I suspected all along...black is not a color.
I took a family guy character quiz
(which family guy character are you?)
when I left it was no question the best show on TV...
It's a tie! |
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You are part Peter. You are fat and dumb. You probably spend a lot of time watching TV and drinking, but that isn't a bad thing. |
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You are part Quagmire. There's only one word for people like you: Pervert. |
17.05.07
Shortest occupation ever!!!
Last night listening to Nick Cave
outside until I was shaking from the cold. Only to repeat this
morning...
For once I was glad my flat has an overheating problem (normally way
to hot in here).
People say his lyrics are depressing, but I don't think so. I think
they're lovely.
My Funeral
I am a crooked man
And I've walked a crooked mile
Night, the shameless widow
Doffed her weeds, in a pile
The stars all winked at me
They shamed a child
Your funeral, my trial
A thousand Marys lured me
To feathered beds and fields of glover
Bird with crooked wing cast
It's wicked shadow over
A bauble moon did mock
And trinket stars did smile
Your funeral, my trial
Here I am, little lamb...
Let all the bells in whoredom ring
All the crooked bitches that she was
(Mongers of pain)
Saw the moon
Become a fang
Your funeral, my trial
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Weeping Song Go son, go
down to the water |
Death is not the end When you're
sad and when you're lonely |
weird how when I was a teenager (back in the old skool day) I would buy one cassette and listen to it over and over (for months). I can't imagine doing that nowadays. there's so much music available you should really never ever have to listen to a bad song, yet I still do.
15.05.07
Did anyone ever actually do a study
on if it's better for an unused elevator to
1) sit idle on the last floor it was on with the door open
2) sit idle on the last floor it was on with the door closed
3) Move to the most used floor and wait for instructions
I would assume in the morning hours the most used floor would be 0,
and that it probably changes depending on the building and time of
day....
I've noticed that Germans don't use elevators in my office...it's
only the lazy foreigners....I actually don't like leaving the office
with Germans because it means I have to be polite and take the
stairs with them.
i may have too much time on my hands to think about stupid stuff
like this...
I cleaned up my PC hard drive and
moved some music onto it from a backup drive I have and I'm
discovering all sorts of music I didn't even know I had....Today
I've heard lots of Nick Cave, Stooges, Cramps etc that is all
basically new to me...alles klaar!
Nick Caves version of "I put a spell on you" is the best I've
heard...I didn't think CCR's could be beat...
Soylent Green really is people....
14.05.07
After the driest warmest April ever
it's now the rainiest May ever (ok I made that up - however I do
have to point out that Germans didn't invent weather, but they did
invent complaining about the weather). I took a walk in the rain
today and it was nice. Kind of felt like Oregon for a minute. I love
sitting outside in the cold and/or rain with coffee, but I think
this must be a strange thing to the Germans. As I was sitting
outside at Starbucks at like 19:00 the dude came out to lock out the
outdoor tables...what's that about? I wasn't ready to leave yet.
I had to come home and sit on my balcony instead....Tai Chi people
are still at it.
Also took out a trainfull of bratty
kids with a single roundhaus to their collective heads....It was
like Chuck Norris was in the haus....
(Chuck Norris is the only known man to be able to survive huffing a
cheetah at birth, as well as being the only entity to survive
huffing a cheetah laced with cracked corn (except possibly
Mr. T,
but there is no documentation on Mr. T's use of kittens or cracked
corn.)
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris
In 1968, Chuck fought and won the World Professional Middleweight
Karate championships by defeating the World's Top Fighters, which
included Batman, Superman, Butt Knocker, TMNT,
Big
Boss, Tintin, Popeye, Bruce Wayne, Shaq, Aaron Carter, Stalin,
all of G-Unit, Tupac Shakur, George Bush, Mr. T, all of New York
City, Gerald Ford,
Godzilla, and even his shadow form
11.05.07
Watched the Big Lebowski today. Brilliant movie. I saw it once a long time ago and didn't like it, but like all Coen brother films it is great, and usually better after the first viewing.
Everyone loves a tourist....Last night did the ex-pat tourist thing with the company matt works for. We go on the brightly colored trolly and bought apfelwein and got to see Frankfurt....funny how little of Frankfurt I've actually seen. It was a slightly educational trip, and fun because the company on board was OK. I didn't mingle (no reason to hang out with ex-pats - Why did the american writer woman keep talking to me....I don't really care that you want to move to France and write a novel - can't you tell that when I turn away from you to talk to my friends that I'm not interested in your life story).
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Matt (oz), Saffa (South Africa) and Will (brit) were onboard so it
was all good. We got off at Sudbahnhof(f) and went to
dreikoenigskeller . Saw an old time blues singer. His music was
classified as "Pre War Blues 1920's Calypso"...How could you not go
check that out. http://www.myspace.com/cwstoneking
we were joined there by Sanne, Kat, Singer Phil, and his friend
(Carol?) who is flying to London today.
Saw two great bands there in the
past week. So nice to have decent live music. nice to have friends
to enjoy the music with.
here's the other band I saw
http://www.sofasurfer.ch/putsmarie/ if anyone wants MP3's let me
know. I bought both albums.
Modest Mouse June 10th.......the music situation has turned positive of late...I have tickets in hand and the following day off.
Apparently america was conquered sometime last week....america is very happy :>)
Off soon to meet Saffa and Matt at
the Borse...outdoor food and wine court on the steps of the old
stock exchange...Summer Friday ritual...Life is great...last night
was great! Today is great!
this weekend....street festival outside...standing outside amongst
the food courts with friends....watching the people go by...
08.05.07
I need to go to bed, but seriously I can't stop clicking links at the uncyclopedia.org....
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_huffing
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law_application_for_antigravitatory_cats
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Murphy's Law, Finagle's corollary:
If something can go wrong, it will so, If you throw a slice of toast with butter into the air, it will always fall with the buttered side down
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Cats conservation law:
08.05.07
Yay. My work contract was just made
permanent...This makes me happy....
A colleague asked me if I missed home, and I said this is my
home...Guess that means I have to figure out if or when I need to go
back to the states...Seems a long way to go...Maybe for x-mas I can
find a way...or I could fly to cuba for the same
money...hmmmm....Cuba would be cool.
allright...this is bloody brilliant...
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Salem hey it's my home...
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Oregon Hey...it's my home....
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Portland Hey....it's almost home
bonus
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Dynamite Yeah this dude is
from Salem...
Props to ***(family member who
shall not be named)*** for giving me all her ironing tips, then
asking if they have hotels in England...yeah she's american and
she's my ***(family member who shall not be named)***...
my response was "No, when people have nowhere to stay in Jolly old
England they just go to the nearest castle and huddle inside"....No
word yet on if ***(family member who shall not be named)*** believes
me...
Sooooooo.....apparently it's
mothers day soon in the states....I've no idea when...it's not
mothers day in Germany...dammit.....my poor mom....sometimes she
sends stream of consciousness emails too....I guess that's where I
get that from....
HI MOM!!!
Don't worry you're the only one who reads this.... ;>)
07.05.07
I have mad ironing skillz.....
Does it have any more value if I say skillllzzzz?
Is there a point at which a shirt
is beyond hope and should be thrown out???
Why does it take an hour for the iron to cool off? Can I dip it in
water?
Am I really obsessed about ironing or am I projecting? It's still like a David Lynch movie in here... ;)
At least a Cat Stevens song came on during ironing practice (wait a minute...ironing is a sport!!!).
kohlensaure!!!!
I don't even know what that means, nor do I know how to spell it...
06.05.07
OK...not sure if I can recall
everything important.
Last night...night of the museums......OP art is cool. I think I've
only been to one real museum in my life before last night. Since as
we all know.. museums in restaurants in Virginia city don't count.
Anything less than 5$ isn't really a museum (arbitrary number).
I did bust open a German book today
thanks to my favorite German teacher ;). Yes Doing a sport is now on
my to do list....However it's many many entries behind move to
IncaLand.
Apparently drinking is a habit not a hobby....good grief!!!! So much
pressure :)
David Lynch as artist rocks!!!!
maybe....wait...actually I don't know what I saw so if anyone really
cares please ask me later after I've had a chance to analyze what I
saw.
David Lynch as artist sucks!!!
Respect to Saffa (Generic South African) for knowing who corky is....Since Jeff (dad) is leaving we are looking for a new dad to impart occasional wisdom on us...Saffa is the only decent candidate so far....
01.05.07
Ironing is NOT self explanatory!!!!
I can still pass for 25...
may 1st already. That means I've spent more than 10 of the last 12 months in Germany. I can't imagine going back to the states.
Public holiday today. Essentially labor day, but this is a more interesting reason to take a day off. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walpurgis_Night German tradition on May day.
It is really hard to nap when there's a protest in Paulsplatz...good grief people...can't you go bother the people on the ziel instead???? I just wanted to sleep a bit.
22.04.07
AMAZING!!!! Down below my flat in the square there were some Russian (?) singers. It was a men's group with one accordion player and 7 or 8 vocalists....Sounded beautiful. They were singing what were probably very traditional russian songs.
I actually met someone last night who spent some time in Portland.
I've also met two people here who graduated from Sprague high in Salem the same year as someone I used to know. Kind of cool that this is such a small planet nowadays...
Beautiful weather this weekend. Spent lots of time outdoors watching people with a bunch of other people who were doing the same.
20.04.07
So after hearing two old Modest Mouse albums I have to say they might be the greatest band ever. Also it's fair to say that the latest album is the worst album. Is this the end. Has the band peaked?
18.04.07 - so I have two entries today...I'm just going to post, but really I'll probably edit all this later....
So Saturday was Matt's birthday. Dinner at some traditional german place. matt, kat, phong, dad, cordelia, red, Phil and paki. Paki was nice, but I think her real name is Ginsi or something....she's Pakistani so once again we have an insulting nickname...Not meaning to be insulting cuz she sat by me and seemed very cool and smart. It's merely out of convenience that we use these insulting nicknames....
I'm just going to paraphrase the
conversation....so this isn't quite how it went, but go with it...
Me: what are you studying?
paki: Religion, politics, and orientalism....
me: That's rather ambitious
paki: I'm going to change the world...refugee camps....chlidren....
me: Why not be a doctor or teacher or something?
paki: I want to go to the middle east to change the system....hearts
and minds...womens' right...children rights...etc
me: Not to be cynical but these are religious problems have been
around for thousands of years...You can't fix them when two groups
say their god promised them something there is no compromise. You'd
have to end religion first... why not solve Kashmir
paki: that's totally different
me: No it's not...they're two unsolvable problems.
I'm sure she had an answer for
this, but she was too smart for me and I was just trying to piss her
off, but I wasn't able to....
Not really...She was nice. Who says Idealism is dead.....huh....
crazy kids....
Here's what happened next Courtesy of Kat
a dodgy looking, obviously veeery inebriated man walks in and sits behind us. he disappears and so does cordelia's wallet. matt, dad, singer phil, and phong run outside immediately. squires, the girl, first doesn't know what's going on, then hesitates, then decides to run after them... yeah...took awhile. guys split up upstairs, some run through the park, others run on the zeil. guy's long gone and they all come back. the AFRH (edited by Joe) and cordelia decide to go to the police station on zeil, and we encourage matt to go with them, finish our wine, pay, and go to police station. phong tries to look into window and we're told, through a microphone, to piss off.
Always exciting to have a wallet stolen...anyways....we went to Macgowans to wait for the rest of them to show up, and then went to shooters after that...always a bad idea, but that was the weekend...Sunday. Lunch with Matt and pops at macGowans. Chicken burger and cider...mmmm. I love MacGowans.
18.04.07
So why is the stupid school
shooting all over the news? So 30 civilians die in Iraq every day.
Is an American life worth more than an Iraqi life? apparently
so...If it takes 99 american lives to save 100 Iraqi lives is it
worth it (I'm not saying that the Americans are saving more lives
than they're taking in Iraq, it's merely a theoretical question.) ?
I would say absolutely, but maybe I'm not american enough...what if
one of the 99 was a friend, family member or me? Nationalism
apparently lives on...
99 Americans to save 100 Canadians, Brits, Corkys, Sherpas??? Anyone
who's "pro life" should be with me on this.
AND...what is the rest of the worlds obsession with American gun policy....do we really just want the Police and Army (an extension of politicians) to have guns. Are those the people who you trust most in America?
Also I have no time for Europeans
that go to New York and somehow think that New York is America....I
also have no time for New Yorkers who think that New York is
America.....I also have no time for New Yorkers or anyone that's
ever lived in New York....please stop talking now... apparently the
stupid terrorists think that the rest of America cares about New
York....I don't care what happens there....
So when is California going to slide into the Ocean?
15.04.07
I'm lately finding out that Germans
who have conversations with me just don't get me....I keep hearing
stuff that people have said about me like "that joe guy is weird. He
talked about the strangest things".
I must admit I'm a little too gleeful about this. It's nice to know
that Germans think I'm eccentric. I'm OK with that.
How often do I get to use gleeful in a sentence? Tremendous...
The germans also apparently think
I'm very unhealthy.....red bull, coffee, red bull, coffee...Pub
food....beer....
everything in moderation....I think two red bulls in half an hour
(on occasion) is not excessive...4 in a day is fine....
Two normal conversations from last week (a normal conversation is anything where clowns, midgets or deep hidden family secrets/issues don't come up - and I must admit I do like to pry. I guess Germans think that's weird of me).
Colleague who I haven't seen in a
few months (pointing to my head cuz I haven't shaved in a month):
That is new
me: yeah I guess
colleague: it's OK
me: it's OK?
colleague: it's OK.
me: ok
colleague: Tchuss...(bye)
me: tchuss
Me: I'm not a handsome man
AFRH: You're not ugly
me: but I'm not handsome
AFRH: but you're not ugly...
AFRH doesn't read this right? if you figure out who you are please talk to Kat or Phong about the name...I still disagree, but I don't know what you're saying in deutsch...
12.04.07
Last Sunday I had a 4 shot coffee and took a nap an hour later. I actually fell asleep...Is that bad? Is my heart going to explode from all the coffee, red bulls and caffeine pills I take?
If I ever send anyone an email after 2 am please delete it before reading...
Apparently people remember me from my bizarre conversations... Better to be known for something than nothing...
08.04.07
Thursday night....Thanks to Jesus we got 4 days off in April....sweet!!! So we went to the pub for Karaoke...
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So we haven't even left town yet...
uHHHHH Düsseldorf on Friday,
Saturday with the fams. Rented a car and set out Friday just past
lunchtime. Met at Extrablatt for a bite.
Pops finally shows up with the rental car and we roll. Traffic jam
on autobahn followed by detour through Köln
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koln). I did get to see the big
cathedral
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Cologne_cathedral_at_dusk.jpg).
That was cool. Pretty impressive. Düsseldorf is only about 40
kilometers past Köln.
The plan was that we cook a big dinner on Friday night. However we did not contemplate that the stores would be closed so our big dinner consisted of whatever we could buy from the gas station. Pizzas in this case, but it turned out to be fine.
We sat and listened to music for
several hours. Followed by jumping on couches. Weird Al is a comedic
genius...musicians and comedians are the new philosophers...
here's pics from Friday...
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Saturday was breakfast then going
into town...we did ride on a hanging tram car thingy through some small
town...That was cool. Apparently the safest form of travel in the
universe...
Düsseldorf is famous for its alt beer (dark beer). They serve it in
.25 glasses and just continue to drink you glasses until you tell
them to stop. And they're very rude about it. No such thing as
customer service in Germany.
I think we also watched Little Timmy crouch in the worst Irish bar
ever!!!! O'Reilley's. I've made a vow never go to go back to that
dump again. However I thought maybe in Düsseldorf it would be
different than the one in Frankfurt. boy was I wrong....Don't worry
there pictures aren't from that dump O'reilleys.
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04.04.07
Today I saw some dogs and I missed Brownie and Ringo (and Miles too).
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03.04.07
apparently I'm the only man in Europe who doesn't know how to iron.
Brown pants absolutely positively do not go with a black shirt.....
Is this my mom's fault??? hi mom ;)
31.03.07
Yeah I guess the last post really
has to do with an "inner Monologue". Kids don't have an inner
monologue (it's not about lying like I originally stated).
the inner monologue is what tells us what is socially acceptable.
Some adults are also missing their inner monologues...noone I
know...
Today Matt and I went to a music fair at the messe. It's basically an industry show of music companies. It was massive. Guitars got their own hall. light and sound get their own hall, windwoods get their own hall. Actually there were about 299999 halls with every instrument you can image (cept triangles - which we were looking for but never found).
I think my favorite was watching the percussionists from Cuba. Main drummer dude played for Tito Puente and many others. He was amazing. Always great to see a quality musician. He has three pedals on his left foot and one of them was for Cowbell....I only wish he had 3 cowbells...how cool would that have been?
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28.03.07
Story from Sandy the Kindergarten
teacher describing an overhead conversation between 4 year old
girls:
Girl 1: Hast du ein penis? (do you have a penis)
girl 2: Nein (no)
girl 1: Sheisse! (shit!)
later conversation between Sandy
and girl 1
Girl 1: Hast du ein penis?
Sandy (thinking hard so as to avoid awkwardness): I don't find that
young girls need penises...
Good thinking Sandy. He said it was all the rage in school for about 2 weeks to talk about penises. Then he talked about how small children don't understand the concept of a lie even though it's sometimes called for or necessary in normal society.
Then Sandy launches into the
question he stole form some TV show. Who would win in a fight
between a caveman and an astronaut....
I've decided that the answer is different if you asked "who would
win in a fight between an astronaut and a caveman" because in the
former the assumptions of people listening is that the caveman would
win. Assumptions seemed to indicate that the fight takes place in a
cave....however really isn't it just as likely that the fight takes
place in space??? Whichever combatant you name first seems to get an
unfair advantage in the response of people that aren't paying
attention.
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28.03.07
Today off...Elyars birthday was last night.
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Down in the square it's an accordian and stand up bass playing "It's now or never". Best rendition ever and I get a free seat on my balcony. It's gotta be close to 20 degrees. Blue sky gorgeous. I love spring. I even cleaned my flat today. Mopped and everything.
LIfe is beautiful!!!
It must be spring break because there are loads of american kids running around. Brats!
25.03.07
Joe: hey Phong which country is
queen noor the queen of?
Phong: I don't know, my ass
Matt: is that in Kansas?
Yeah...at least I know where Sydney is....jerk!
22.03.07
My mom said the grandparents are mad that I haven't called. I haven't really called anybody in the States since I've been here. Not even over the holidays. Oops. Been meaning to...
21.03.07
Tonight dinner with dad, kat, and Phong. I had Indian food for only the 4th time in my life. I love Indian food now. My first experience with it was in Salem and I think I got sick, but I was forced to eat it again for a work dinner and it was SOOOO good. I love it now.
Since Matt has a girlfriend now we're officially out of his life (jerk). At least he updated his blog so I can finish the rest of the London trip. Between the two of us we might have a whole story.
Did I mention how huge the escalators were down to the tube (London), and how crowded they were...there was a girl with ski boots, a cindy lauper dress and ski goggles on the tube one night. I like how the whole train was trying not to laugh at her, and when she got off they all did. She's my hero.
Don Johnson is playing in Guys n Dolls in London....I kept wanting to take a picture of the poster, but I only ever saw them on the gigantic escalators so by the time I saw the poster it was always too late to take a picture.
Don't you hate it when a band you love releases an absolute crap album....thank you cracker...you suck now!
19.03.07
It's really cold outside (snow tonight) and raining at the moment. The tai-chi people are down in the square doing their thing...that's commitment.
We have nicknames for most of the
people we meet and it's going to get me in trouble someday because
some of the nicknames are insults, but if I don't get the joke
(stupid american-they don't get my jokes either) I'm just going to
call them by the nickname without thinking. I usually don't even
know the peoples real names....Coultard...
bulgy (generic name for Bulgarians) 4 and 5 seemed offended to be
called Bulgy 4 and 5. Or were they Bulgy 5 and 6....I can't
remember....being bulgy 5 might be better than being called "the
before picture in a before and after shot" (kat).
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18.03.07
Stealing is bad!!!
Kat promised me art!!!!
the things I gave up when I moved here...the things I gained....
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17.03.07
St Paddies day...I've never been to
a st paddy's day party. However since there are actual irish people
here (I don't think I've ever met an Irish person in the States)
they actually celebrate the holiday (in a possibly more genuine
fashion....ok wait...it's just an excuse to drink and yell). I've
already watched Rugby today (Irland vs. Italia) in the Irish, with a
bunch of yelling Irish folk. I love the Irish.
Rugby is one of those weird things that reminds me of Coquille/Coos
Bay Oregon. I remember watching Kung Fu theatre and Rugby on Sunday
mornings on TV as a kid.
you can see why Europeans who were raised on Rugby find American
Rugby incredibly boring. These are real men, and they don't have to
rest for 30 seconds after every play.
Tonight dinner with fams at 18:00 then the pub where I'm sure it's going to be incredibly overcrowded.
a large british man threatened to Tazer me. happy birthday Ben. Sorry I missed your 12th celebration this year...I shall be watching my back.
16.03.07
Ok so last night I busted out my
Corky reference (LIfe goes on) but nobody got it so I had to then
bust out my downs syndrome
impression.........................................................I'll
spare everyone the details, but pretending to have downs syndrome is
kind of fun.
Corky would be the best wingman ever.
apparently Matt and Kat saw a midget walking out of a sex shop and forgot to take a picture...it's not every day you get to see that. I can't believe they didn't take a picture.
Yeah I'd backpack around India for a month!!!!
Thugmeister, Thug-o-rama, Thug-a-lug
15.03.07
Matt is trying to get the fams to move to Oz.....Every ozzie I've ever met is cool. I think I would love it.... easier said than done as always.
Since when did stealing mirrors
from mopeds become morally un-ambiguous....
Since when did stealing ashtrays from classy overpriced restaurants
become morally un-ambiguous...
13.03.07
It's absolutely gorgeous today. Since I still haven't figured out celcius I'll give the temp in F. It's supposed to be 62F the next few days. I'd rather just type an excuse than be pissed to actually figure out what the celcius temp will be....
what if the ninja had a peg leg, but the pirate did not?
I actually said Tomato on the plane like TOE-MOTT-OH instead of the usual american way of TOE-MATE-OH. Yeah I'm european like that....
Tonight Kat mentioned my inflection is all british....I think it's been that way for a few months, but either she didn't notice or she just took the moment of my TOE-MOTT-OH story as the moment to tell me.
Geez...I told Kat I had like 4 things to update, but I can't remember them all at the moment....
11.03.07
Got back from London today. Might have a bit of a cold....sleeping on the floor of strange peoples house last night....
So recap.....
Thursday...Laundry eventually dried...I was way early at
airport....so I bought a Guardian and tried to nap.
Was to meet Matt at 2ish, but his train was delayed due to a bridge
crash or something....We met bout 4, and had to modify plans. No
time for sight seeing so we just met some of his friends at one of
their old local pubs. The gray goose...I think we talked about
midgets and people with no legs...The pool table was miniature, but
good people and I had fun.
Also had a british girl with massive braids tell me that I should
"platt" my beard.....not knowing what this meant I agreed to let her
try it....So I undid my beard and she said "oh it was already
platted"....apparently platt means braid....she said she would platt
it for me....but did a lousy job...so another british girl said she
would give it a shot.....she didn't do a very good job either, so I
had to just platt it myself in the mirror of the pub where everyone
could see me.....thanks ladies for the help!!!!
Then we had to go to Surrey/Red Hill (I have no idea where or what
that is). Some more of Matt's friends put us up in the spare rooms
of the pub they manage. Gracious enough to make us Spaghetti
Bolognese as well. Well done! Good people.
Matt slept in and again we were
short on time.
Saw Leicester Square and about 5 pubs. London is so huge. It takes
forever to go anywhere, and since we had a different place every
night we carried our bags around for 3 straight days...I'm sore now
to go along with my cold.
Matt's tours of London basically
follow the philosophy or walk 30 minutes then find a pub.
Pictures will follow in a few days (except we only took like 4
pictures...Ooops)
Friday evening had us walking
towards matt's old office, and we went into another local dive, but
this is where it gets fun. Met more of Matt's people. bought some
illegally copied DVD's from a Chinese man. Apparently this is common
to see in London. 3 for 10 gbp. Some movies just came out in the
theatre a week ago. Probably movies made by a dude holding a video
camera in the theatre.
I've not seen this in Frankfurt.
Some random 45 year old woman starts talking to us about DVD's.
Invites herself to sit down and tells the guy she was with that she
was staying but he could go.
She says her husband doesn't let her out very much. We wonder
why.....
Our standard question to strangers is to ask who wins a fight
between a pirate and a ninja....The fun part is to see their
assumptions and what type of questions they will ask (does the
pirate have a patch? is he drunk? Does he have two legs? Does the
Ninja have stars? etc).
I believe her first comment was something about Why can't they just
talk about it and be friends? That was the first time anyone posed
that question....
We said no that's no possible because the pirate had raped and
pillaged the Ninja's family or something. Then she said...OK...the
Pirate....
why?
Incoherent rambling for about 5 minutes, talking about how the
Pirates other senses have been heightened because of his patch
(brilliant!). He has an amazing sense of hearing and smell which
would give him an advantage over the ninja....Something about how
the Ninja is really a robot......and one of them needs therapy. If
the Ninja really was a robot then the Pirate would have an advantage
because of his cunning and emotional intelligence....
Matt: So, how much is therapy in the Matrix?
crazy lady: 8 Rubik's cubes....(followed by hand motions indicating
that she has just solved the rubik's cube in about 2 seconds. then
she holds the rubik's cube out and says)
"here you go".
There was also a story about harry hoover which I can't really remember. I think I was laughing too hard. I'll have to get it off Matt....
We piss off and try to get crazy english lady to come with us, but alas she has to get back to her husband. I can only hope that she asked the same question to him. Good bye crazy english lady. I only wish we didn't have another question to ask. Can someone in the family work on a new question?
Go to some other cool pub that
plays the silent film version of beauty and the beast ALL THE
TIME!!!
Yes I had actually wandered in this pub when I was in London a year
ago December (was it really that long ago?). It's a cool pub.
Decorated with gothic ironwork and test tubs...sort of like an
ancient science lab gone wrong. Super crowded though.
Some of us then took a cab to some rock club with go-go dancers.
that was fun. On the floor dudes dancing to rock music by doing high
kicks into the air....as far as I know nobody died, but you had to
pay attention in certain places on the floor.
This was followed by interpretive dance from Matt and Vikki.
"I'm a tree"
"Karate Kid"
and other random poses that I probably can't remember
Hot dog on the street (with onions
and mustard).
taking a ride in one of the illegal London Black cabs (unregulated
cabs). You negotiate a price before you get in and hope they don't
assault you or take you hostage or something....He tried to rip us
off when we got out. He's not allowed to double the price after we
get out. Nice try fella!
Crashed in Vikki's room. Cheers mate! Come for a visit.
woke up with yellow stuff on my jacket....deduced about 8 hours later that it must've been mustard from the hot dog the night before.
Woke up and went to a Z class English Football team. Home team won 3-0 so it was a good game. Was kind of cool to hang out there with the locals who yell at the ref, the teams, and whatever else needs a good yelling at.
After that went to a pub up the
hill and watched Ma'am U with yet another tainted contest....How
many times will that crap happen....Why is Middlesborough pronounced
like I just spelled it, but it's actually spelled Middlesbrough?
Someone tell me what I'm missing.
Queen's english....
I did notice that in the Queens english things happen "at the
weekend" whereas in american it would be "on the weekend"
Met some drunk guy who was overly friendly and decided to join our
table. He was proud to show me that he knew the melody to the US
national anthem...My favorite part of him was his closing...He
whispered to me "we'll get them bloody muslims". Actually I'm pretty
sure he spit all over the side of my face as he said it. He didn't
really want us to leave, but he quickly made friends at a new table
so I'm sure he's OK now.
After that we went to a party at
the top of one of the Tower Bridge Hotels. 12th floor
penthouse...Saw Clinton there. Always good to see ya mate. Come back
to ffm soon. I noticed that Clinton wasn't dancing to Cheeky girls
OR abba. It was the "gayest londonest" (Vikki's quote) party I've
ever been too. I like being introduced like "This is Joe, he's
straight"....cheers mate for not making it awkward.
Incredible view of the Tower bridge and all of London. I never had
any real desire to see the tower bridge, but it was pretty
impressive. We ended up walking across it on the way to our Saturday
night hosts.
I was pretty tired and beat up by this point, so I basically tried to be polite for a little bit, then tried to find a place to sleep. It turned out that the hallway by the door was about all I got. It was bloody cold, and there was a draft coming under the door.....I wonder why I'm sick now.
I think a lot more happened over the weekend, but I'm still trying to figure it out....I'll have pics and Matt's take on the weekend soon. To be edited later.
Vikki gave me a paint by numbers set, but the brown color busted and spilled all over the inside of my bag...now I can't really do it unless I can find brown paint.
So this is Matt's blog of the
weekend.....I better change the font....
I'd edit out the fuck word, but since it's not a bad
word in europe I'll just leave it in...If any yanks are offended
just chalk it up as another example of americans trying to force
thier bogus values on the rest of the world....;>)
Thursday. I have so far managed to catch up on my sleep and gotten most things sorted. All in all has been a great relaxing trip and i'm feeling good. My liver though has pre-emptively started hurting as i walk to the train station.
Train is already 10 minutes late, then we stop outside Doncaster for another hour due to a 'Bridge-Bash' cause some car has 'strucked the bridge' up ahead. I'm so glad the Queen taught these people to speak gooderer than us.
Get to London about an Hour and a half late, so Squires has been wandering around, more than likely looking for chicks. We shelve our plans to go to Greenwich and walk to the Goose for £1 beers with Boychild and the rest of the Einstein Mob. Played Pool with some girls with hoop earings big enough to hold thighs let alone ankles. Won. Duh. Lost to the Swede though. Jammy Swedes. Somehow we make it to a train to Redhill in Surrey to visit Craig and Ana at their Pub. Continue drinking till 3 or something in the morning listening to Johnny Cash and some other good tunes.
Saturday i wake up at about 12ish. Have the feeling Squires has been up for a while. Haven't shown him anything yet. Say goodbye to the biggest dog i've met. This is him in comparison to Rockpig.
Rockpig would have handed him his arse if he tried anything.
We catch a train up to do the Westend. Take in all the usual sights, a Guinness at Waxy's, a stroll around Lychester Sq, Piccadilly, Trafalgar, pint at the Chandos, then head to meet the Einsteiniens before clubbing. The local has been changed now to the smoky old man pub on the corner. Just as i thought it was going to wind up pretty uneventful we met the woman.
Those of us that know us here in Frankfurt have been asked the immortal question: Who would win in a fight between a Pirate and a Ninja? It's not so much which one you choose but how you approach the question that affects how we will inevitably judge you. The question was posed to this woman of about mid 30's to 40 within about 5 minutes of meeting her.
'The Pirate'.
Fuck it let's go she's boring. Ok i'll give you a chance.
'You have to explain your reasons why, you can't just say the pirate.'
She then preceded to astound us with 15 or so arguments that would need weeks of research to repair and several mind-numbing substances. There was the Pirate's parrot being trained in the way of the ninja. The pirates remaining senses were strengthened by the loss of his one eye... i cant remember the rest but just remember being stunned by the amount of preparation she had gone too. It was like her whole life had been in preparation for this moment.
She continued to woo us with bits of wisdom and anecdotes including telling us she was a little bit 'nutty'. Modifying one of Lucky's lines i asked her 'How much does therapy cost in the matrix?'
'Seven Rubicks Cubes' without hesitation. She was good.
I think her best story though, and you may have to check Joe's blog to see if i have left out bits, began sometime in the 70's after consuming 'a lot of drugs'. What a surprise. Apparently she was at a rich friends house where everyone was a bit posh. At some stage she found their vacuum cleaner – the Henry model – and began using it as a microphone to Interview people. She even took notes of some of the interviewees addresses saying she would visit them. At some stage she left the party – Henry in hand – and went home. Still under the influence she decided to follow up one of the Interviews by travelling several hours in a cab. Arriving at some club, she proceeded to interview other clubbers. By morning she had lost her purse her shoes her bag, but had held on to Henry. 70's drugs must have been good. Walking along the street, a Cabbie stopped and asked her if she wanted a lift. She said yeah alright. He said where too? She said North London and i don't have any money. His reply: 'I'll take you for the Hoover'. After an emotional farewell to Henry and two hours back to london she then proceded to comedown in front of a mesmerising bit of artwork in her parents lounge room before her Dad put her to bed before her mum found her.
To be continued.
09.03.07
Of to London in a bit....how early
do you have to be to the airport? In the states it's 3 hours for an
international flight, but I think it's less here...oh well...at
least I didn't sleep through my alarm...meeting up with Matt later
today...Should be carnage, and I'm an old man.....
trying to dry laundry on the heater and get packed all at the same
time....it's hard to pack when you're waiting for clothes to dry....
If it's pronounced Lester why don't you just frickin spell it that way???? Bloody brits and their queen. Saviours of the civilized world.
04.04.07
Actually I wrote that last entry
today...it's still today...the last entry was the wrong date...Did I
mention how lonely i was yesterday????
So I went to the Irish today and ate with Anne (Vladdi's girl) and
Cervix....I miss my friends....I was sitting alone, but it's
nice to frequent a place often enough that you know the
staff....Pete and Elliot where there too...I played darts with
Cervix and won. I think I hit the wall more often than the dart
board....I think Tony was laughing at me.
Home now to listen to depressing
music in the dark with candles....
example:
I've been a moonshiner
for 17 long years.
and I've spent all my money on Whiskey and Beer
and I go to some hollow to set at my still
an dif the whiskey don't kill me I don't know what will
and I go to some barroom
to drink with my friends
where the women they can't follow
to see what I spent
god bless them pretty women
I wish...they were mine
with breath as sweet as...dew, on the vine
Let me eat when I'm hungry
let me drink when I'm dry
Two dollars when I'm hard up
Religion when I die.
and the whole world is a bottle
and life is but a drown
When the bottle gets empty
lord it sure ain't worth a damn.
that's just what's on at the moment, but I think it fits...the band is Son Volt, might be a cover though....
next song...
Ride the blue wind high and free
it'll lead you down through misery
leave you low, come time to go
alone and low
as low can be.
if I had a nickel I'd find a game
and if I won a dollar I'd make it rain
if it rained an ocean, I'd drink it dry
lay me down
to satisfy
it's legs to walk and hard(?) to
fly
eyes to laugh and lips to cry
a restless tongue to classify
all born to grow
|and grown to die
Tell my mother I did no wrong
and tell my baby I said so long
and tell my brother to watch his own
and tell my friends to mourn me not
chain upon the face of time
and feelin full of foolish rhyme
ain't no dark til somethin shines
I'm bound to leave this dark behind
ride the blue wind high and free
it'll lead you down through misery
leave you low, come time to go
alone and low
as low can be
I like songs that don't have
courses....what passes for country music today is nothing more than
pop music sung by people with southern accents....
what's written above is not country music....
03.04.07
So Wednesday I went back to
dreikoenigskeller (3 kings cellar). There was a really cool French
duo playing (Matt says French is slang for off key and out of tune -
Matt is establishment).
matt doesn't know what punk is cuz he's establishment.....
I loved it.
i HATE Punk!!!
Friday night I also popped in cuz there was a 90 year old
rockabilly/Western Swing guy playing. He was pretty good, but I only
stayed for the first set, cuz I got dragged elsewhere.
Now Kat is in New York, and Matt is
in the UK.
last night was pretty lonely cuz of that. I guess I'll have to go
watch some football or something so I don't get lonely today.
The sun however is shining...no clouds in the sky. It's a beautiful
day in Deutschland!!!! Maybe I should go to the zoo...
27.02.07
geez I'm tired....carnage for the
last week...
Sunday night I visited the absolute coolest club in
Frankfurt...Rockabilly club....YES!!!!!!!!! People have no idea how
excited I am....this place rocked!!!!
http://dreikoenigskeller.com
...down an alley with one little sign and lots of graffiti, has to
be good....in a half a basement with room for about 30 people to
stand...only thing missing was sticky floors, but maybe the night
was young. live music almost every single night....It was like going
home.
tomorrow night some weird french band. I think I need to go.
24.02.07
Uhh...so last night some genius called the family eccentric...........so I had to think of what eccentric means to me....cuz to be honest the family is not eccentric.........uhhhhh....MIchael Jackson is eccentric....he owns monkeys and is friends with Liz Taylor...(flicka)......uhhhhh.....80 year old guys with 48 year old skinny girlfriends who wear white suits and drink scotch in a wine glass might be considered eccentric....me........american who hates yanks........not quite eccentric....Matt...aussie who likes boomerangs and never hits with German girls...Kat.....uhhhhhhhhh....drinks too much....Dad....Brit lost in Deutschland....yeah ok...Dad's eccentric....."I have three stripes on my sleeve and that guy has 4....yeah...that might be eccentric....
Here's some pics from last Monday's Cat Empire show....
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20.02.07
Last night went to a concert with
Matt, Kat, Jeff (dad), Phong, Big Ben, Serbian Alex, and Ollie's
wife. It was an ozzie band called Cat Empire...great live band...I'd
never heard them before, but I would question if the CD is as good
as the live show. I think someone has a CD, so I'll give it a
listen. I would definitely see them again if they came around.
In the states I would never have paid more than 5 bucks to see a
live band that I'd never heard before. It probably wouldn't matter
if they came recommended. I'd normally insist on hearing them myself
before paying money, but I guess I'm so desperate for a show that I
just agreed to go without thinking about it.
Glad I went though.
Another beautiful spring like day. I haven't had to wear a coat for a few days.
19.02.07
Of course I know who Samuel Longhorn Clemens is.....did I spell Clemens right????
My hourly update on my blog didn't
ever happen did it??? Oh well...fams came over and watched Spaced
which is a brilliant British series I must say...Favorite line from
the movie
"They say friends are the family of the 21st century not
relatives..."
Good Quote...I think most of my friends here are sort of like me. No
family in Germany, not much of a safety net. We sort of our each
others family. I'm thankful for them.
Same guys in that show as in Shaun of the Dead and the new cop movie
coming out (name escapes me).
18.02.07
Sunday morning...it's Fasching (Carnival) right now. Yesterday in Romerplatz (100 m from here) they were singing German songs (probably about beer) and wearing funny costumes...I wake up this morning and I see there there are 3 ambulances down below my balcony with about 20 paramedics just milling about...I'm guessing they're there for the drunk people that will be showing up soon...I've heard stories of people waking up drunk in a park somewhere during this time...unfortunately for them it's often cold in February here so they may be frostbitten...The story came from a paramedic originally so it must be true.
The weather here is beautiful right
now...I was here last February and it was about -5C with 100kmph
wind gusts...(sorry for making people in the states do math right
now).
The sun is shining and I have my door open at 9:30am.
There will be a parade today somewhere around here....I see old
women wearing cat ears, and lots of guys in pirate costumes....
I love this country!!!!
Update....there's now about 50
paramedics and 12 ambulances....it's almost 11am.
The ambulances are parked where the Asian tourist buses normally
park......
12PM....
Ambulances are still there, but paramedics seemed to have
dissipated...Cops have started arriving now as well....I do like
German cops they seem to not be so serious all the time...They
actually will talk to you and will have a laugh with the drunk
people...
There are random people in costumes carrying around stereos and
dancing....There are random cars/vans driving down the street with
loudspeakers playing dance music....The church bells are ringing
right now....Catholic holidays rock....every drunken festival in
Germany is celebrating something to do with a church or religion....
A bonus entry...thanks Matt
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have
one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vordskontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
in
ze forst plas.
English is a Germanic language.
Speaking German in pig latin is fun!
13.02.07
I think I actually had a spring in my step this morning....it was rather spring like, and I was happy...the winter nights are definitely longer and darker than at home...but I guess the summer nights are longer...we must be further north than Oregon eh....It was light when I went to work and light when I went home...I have Friday through Wednesday off this week and next...so many vacation days to use....so little time...
I'm pretty sure that Staten Island is right next to Pyongyang...Geographically challenged yanqui that I am.
Pyongyang.
12.02.07
OK because the families blogs and I are all about ego..
Here's some quotes about me from
other peoples blogs and/or emails...(however I can't actually share
the blogs because there is too much bad stuff bout me on
them)...these are all taken out of context...but honestly I don't
think it matters...unedited....
at least I know how to spell sleazy...
dad (Once described as "Random old timer likes to talk about the war. Doesn't say much but doesn't need to, exudes wisdom. Likes midgets, Works for UBS, drinks like a fish".) : "i mean, squires is a sleezy bastard as well. but at least he's a fun sleezy bastard."
Kat: "it is a bit creepy but definitely not squires kind of "old sweaty overweight man breathing hard to brazilian young boy's porn" kind of creepy. THAT'S squires' creepy."
Matt: "even chicks don't drink rosé".
I
also have to add that Kat's comment is merely a metaphor...I have no interest in young Brazilian boys, nor am I an old sweaty overweight man....WAIT A MINUTE!!! allright maybe a middle ages, slightly perspiring, mildly obese man....OK whatever....still a metaphor...am I going to have to edit this later....
I'm bordering on proud to say that I know the difference between Vin Diesel and the Rock....
11.02.07
Apparently if you burn those tall candles in little glass candle holders and you let them burn to the end the glass candle holders break....Why does no one tell me this stuff?
Cypress Hill, Wesley Willis, Region 1 DVD player (yes!!!). Self proclaimed movie buffs, being asked what I looked like as a child.
08.02.07
Today an only child told me she knew I was an only child because I was so egotistical. I'm not sure how to take that, but Thanks! That was the highlight of my day.
Bunny rabbits and feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!
04.02.07
Every Sunday I go to the same
starbucks near the old Stock Exchange and sit at the same table
outside with the best view of the Bull and
Bear statues. The tourists all flock here and do the same poses...
They all grab the bull by the horns as they're posing for pics, and
if they have kids they put them on top of the bear.
Sometimes people are alone, and I have to admit I do like travelling
that way...When I first came to Frankfurt I wandered the city alone.
It's a good way to travel...Open for anything, no commitments to be
anywhere or keep anyone else happy. The only drawback is that you
have to take pictures of sights, but you aren't in them...unless you
stick your arm out and take a funny picture of your head with the
attraction behind you...I don't see people do that much here...
here's a link for a great Frankfurt gallery...http://www.pbase.com/ralf/frankfurt&page=all
Today is my mom's birthday...ooops....I forgot....HI MOM!!!! Happy birthday. Hope it's the best one ever!
Family is (Matt, Kat, Pops) are
talking about hitting Prague soon. Not expensive to rent a car and
go for the weekend. I'm excited for that.
Also might visiting London next month. Matt is going for a few days
and if I go with we have a free place to stay.
So far I haven't travelled much of anywhere...that's a shame. In
Europe and wasting my days...
Going to see a movie today...The Prestige...Should be good. I haven't been to a movie lately...Sunday afternoon are a great time for a movie since noone's ever at the cinema.
OK So I'm not sure I ever posted
these links, but if you have a decent connection watch these you
tube clips...This guy is one of my favourite things about Frankfurt.
Bizarre random street performers....I know 4 of the 5 songs here,
but can anyone please tell me what the second song is?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkRv3HDcx5A
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FK6-Fx39te8
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x1ubzDONKdk
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XXdnjritCsc&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zwU6CxpQcqs&mode=related&search=
of course the clips don't do him justice...it's
really the reaction of the people that walk by that aren't paying
attention and that moment that he screams and they stop their
conversations and start laughing at him that make it all
worthwhile...
A conversation from Friday
night....(as told by Kat and Matt)
Joe (talking to random person at Irish): What do you do in
Frankfurt?
Random Person: I'm a biology Student
Joe (turning back on biology student to talk to Kat): Quick!!! What
do you know about Biology?
Kat (turns to Matt): What do we know about Biology?
Matt: ...
Joe (Loud enough to make sure the whole bar hears me): SINGLE CELLED
ORGANISMS!!!!
We made the official web page of
our local pub...I'm pretty sure I could sue in the states. This is
from New Years...I got called an ozzie...psshaawwww.
http://gallery.yours-bars.de/album05
28.01.07
I'm now officially on probation from the adopted family (here in Germany). All because I refused to go to some hip hop party.
Memories from this weekend:
Friday night after the Pogues (guitarist) show Matt saying "Come on you've got two more in ya" as he walked off stage. Matt is trying to make a good impression with Jamie Clark.
A ham and cheese sandwich on Friday
night...that was good.
A US marine singing "Killing in the name of" at Karaoke.
Big Ben singing Tenacious D with feeling...
Closing down 3 establishments on Sunday morning (Irish, Some Vietnamese restaurant and Shooters).
pops trying to figure out how to go home tonight.
Snow!
Family Guy Movie...
23.01.07
at the end of the day Kings of Leon really understand web 2.9. everyone else is an idiot.
22.01.07
Yesterday I missed a poker tournament cuz I forgot about it.....agghhhhh
The Raconteurs album is pretty good.
Mein name ist
Honraaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
t was funny if you were there...I have no time for people who are
embarrassed by my emphatically superb mixing of Duetsch and French
languages.
Ich bin Croisssssaaaaaannnnt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arsenal!!!!!
At the end of the day I have no time for people who name their kids after car manufacturers....Renault, Pugeot, Citroen.
21.01.07
Week in Review....Trying to remember
Monday was sammich (why can't we get decent food at an event called sammich?). Why are there Germans at an ex-pat event...that's just weird...Germans who go to ex-pat events must hate other Germans...what's was that about?
Tuesday...went to an actual restaurant called "Tequilas". I'm sure the Americans who read this probably think that's dumb, but they actually had Burritos...this is very exciting for me who currently misses Mexican food more than anything else in the states. Ate with a bulgy (Bulgarian) who was good company. So many different nationalities and people in Frankfurt. Amazing.
Wed-Thursday.....uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. NO Clue. Meetings at work I guess...
Friday....Movies at my place. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang...good movie. Went to Shooters late. Shooters...
Saturday....Watched Little Timmy Crouch's team (Liverpool) beat Chelsea. I can't decide if I want Ma'am U to lose more than I want Little Timmy Crouch to win. To cheer for little Timmy or against Ma'am U? Tough question...Went to Ben's. I think they were drinking gasoline...I declined. Watched Family guy episodes then played a playstion game where I get to drive a gigantic Dodge over old Minis. Maybe I should buy a playstion someday.
Today going to watch Ma'am U at the Fox and Hound. Choice is clear today....Go Arsenal!!!!
Next Friday am going to Offenbach to see the Pogues (or at least the closest thing we can get to the Pogues on a Friday night in Offenbach - am truly excited about this).
16.01.07
I have no time for people that don't understand web 2.0
14.01.07
Yesterday the fams and I went to Heidelberg.
I woke up with my phone ringing at
8:50 am...I was sleeping rather soundly and when I was jarred awake
by my phone I promptly jumped out of bed and upon landing I figured
out that my right leg was asleep and fell over. I had to crawl to my
phone, but I did answer it.
I had 10 missed calls...huh?????
I also had a black coat that I took from the pub last night cuz I
thought it was Matt's and he forgot it...turns out that it wasn't
Matt's and he did not forget it...I guess that means I accidentally
stole a coat...I'll have to take it back. OOPS!
So anyways during my wake up call Matt, Kat, and I agreed to meet
at 9:45 to catch the train to Heidelberg and spend the day being
tourists.
At 9:45 I call Matt because I'm the
only one at the prescribed meeting point...Matt is sleeping....He'll
be there in half an hour
Kat arrived at meeting point and we went to Starbucks since Matt was
not with us.
Matt arrives and we catch train to
Hauptbanhof (main train station). First quote for tickets from the
nice ticket man is 140€. Which is much higher than quote on
website...Kat asks again and if we decide not to take the ICE (high
speed train) its only 35€ for 3 people...which is magically cheaper
than the quote on the website...Pleasant surprise.
Breakfast at McDonalds in the Hauptbanhof. Highlight was some weird
girl wearing cat ears and a long tail...Lots of cool people at the
main station.
We arrived in Heidelberg on train
trip in which Kat's inner monologue was not working...actually it
wasn't working at any point yesterday...
I especially liked when we were trying to talk about people who are
2 feet away, but we're using the opportunity to practice our
German..."die frau in de Rhote um Weiss ist...whatever"...
maybe speaking bad German is actually safer than speaking English.
They're less likely to understand us.
Walk to castle....Nice castle...large parts of it are off limits unless you buy the guided tour...they do not tell us this at the ticket booth...jerks!!!
There are too many americans there...Why is the US military in Germany?
Leave castle....walking up and down
to and from castles is always stressful on knees/legs. Cobble stones
streets that slope at a 45 degree angle for a 2 mile hike are not so
great....alternative is stairs, but that's hard too. What kind of
idiot would put a castle on top of a hill....STUPID!!!
(I'm pretty sure my mom will think that was a serious question and
attempt to send me information on why it's better to put a castle on
top of a hill).
walk to tourist area.
I'ts like a mini Zeil (ffm Shopping
area). We're trying to figure out if we're hungry...walk by a
burrito restaurant...I was very excited...we don't have anything
like that near me in Frankfurt. I was vetoed so we keep walking...We
see mini-calzone place...I was very excited...I was vetoed...We see
Irish pub....HOLY SMOKES!!! Without much discussion we walk
in...Good decision...No question the best music selection I've ever
heard in an Irish pub...Most Irish pubs here in ffm don't even play
Irish music.
We watch little timmy crouch score about 5 goals for Liverpool
(Little timmy crouch is the man!!!)
Luckily for Matt Ma'amchester is coming on next, so of course we
have to watch that game...Every 5 minutes we laugh because we came
to do some sightseeing or something and just sat in an Irish pub and
watched football...classy...
After game we walk around and try to find where the students hang out and stuff.
Ask local where to go...after 5 minutes of talking she remembers where we should go and gives us the info we need. She says we can walk there, but of course I've already walked today so I want a cab....We catch a cab and after driving for half an hour we arrive...I've learned to beware when a German says something is within walking distance....be very skeptical...
Arrive at a nice area...hit 4 or 5
pubs...
Strangest one seemed a bit like a nazi bar??? I'm basing this
statement on the clientelle. Normally when you see a shaved head in
Germany you're pretty sure it's a commonwealth country citizen or an
american. This place was filled with shaved German heads, Suspenders
and boots. Did not really realize this until drinks were
ordered...I'm sure noone would have bothered me, but Kat's Korean so
it was a bit strange. Matt and kat were discussing American History
X. Excellent...
Noone gave us any look when we went it, so probably an overreaction,
but one never knows...we hurried through drinks and moved on.
Last place we went to was a Piano bar...I love Piano bars...I guess there's one in Sachsenhausen, but I've never gone.
A special thank for our taxi driver in Heidelberg - Michael Schumacher...who claimed at first not to speak english, but eventually did start bantering with us as he was tearing up the streets and possibly excessive speeds. He was cool.
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10.01.07
Seems like nothing has happened so
far this week. Haven't really seen the fams and have had training
all week so I have to be to work earlier than normal.
Below are some pics that might be from pops bday...
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07.01.07
Things I learned this week:
My friends will call me at 3:30 am
when they're at shooters without me...even though they know I'm
sleeping.
They will tell me anything at all just to get me there (there's a
midget and a girl with MS). My friends know what I like. Even though
there was no one with MS nor midgets...LIARS!!!!
They will keep calling until I answer.
If I need to sleep I must remember to turn my phone off.
Do not drink Red Bull/anything after 3 AM...bad news bears. I don't like sleeping until at least 6 am. Luckily it's the weekend.
when my friends come over for
movies, we won't necessarily watch movies...
however we will order pizza so my flat stinks for a week...
900 bottles will magically appear in my kitchen because I don't know
how to get rid of them.
When someone says to me "Squires, what's up" and I ignore them they might keep talking to me.
good doesn't exist without evil.
The bartenders get to drink on the job on new years eve. Viva la Deutschland.
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02.01.07
Wow 2007
Had a discussion last night on who would win a fight between a Ninja
and a Pirate. After a bit of consideration it becomes obvious that
the Ninja would win easily.
Assume both had weapons...the Ninja has stars, and the Pirate has 4
single shot pistols...He would have not chance to reload...He's
probably drunk, has one good leg and a patch and a hook...even if he
wasn't drunk the odds are that the ninja would get the first shot
off, and I would trust the ninja with one shot rather than the
crooked pirate with one shot...If it got to hand to hand combat even
with the hook the pirate would have a disadvantage...I would say 8
times out of 10 the Ninja wins in a room with no obstructions and if
there were obstructions (say on a pirate ship) the ninja would win
98% of the time.
in retrospect it's a silly question because the two are not evenly
matched. Even a kid can win at horsehoes once in a while (infinite
monkeys at infinite keyboards...).
I'm glad that adult people can have conversations like this...
01.01.07
I got a text today with the word "therefore" in it. I didn't know Ozzies were so formal. ;>)~
Had a dinner gathering with adopted family. Pops can actually cook. I was pleasantly surprised. We then played trivial pursuit, but it was the British edition, so I had no real chance at any of the British Political questions or anything to do with sports as it was all cricket, rugby and football. Oh well. someone has to finish last right?